One day on. The Reflex

I was going to answer the individual comments but I realised to do that would remove much of what I had planned to write today. Yesterday massage looking back on it was really great when it came to two hours spent with an interesting and friendly person who understood from her work what it is like to live with chronic illness, just not having to describe everything in detail was in itself refreshing, the normal fact of new people in my life is normally long detailed discussion on how it feels to be me, I don’t mind doing that but as I said it was refreshing. The massage itself was relaxing but as she commented I didn’t seem to have the knotted muscles that most do, simple reason for that I know is I am at peace in my world and not fighting it.

So here I am 24 hrs on and what do I feel now and last night, well last night first. I did notice that the burning feeling I usually have at the end of a day in the soles of my feet was remarkably lessened, something I am grateful for as sitting at a time when I want to relax but not being able to, as I don’t know how to stop the pain in my feet, is an annoyance everyday. I suspect though that if someone who doesn’t know anything a bout reflexology sent an hour gently massaging my feet everyday I would get a similar effect. Massage does notably increases the blood flow and gentle pressure on the muscles does release some pain. I know myself that when I have a muscle that is driving me mad with a spasm that to shove my fingers as deeply into the muscle forces it to let go, I would then expect the more gentle motion to release those that are just no sitting quietly and correctly.

The rest of my body I have to say I really didn’t feel any change, well their might have been a slight change in the pain in my legs but again I can see that the massage on my feet will have helped with the blood flow through out my legs and that may have reduced and relieve some of the leg spasms. The discomfort round where my diaphragm is, which would include may gallbladder, liver and spleen what she was working on through the reflex points in my feet was the same as ever. I spent the evening as I always do, part of the time leaning forward to help with one area, then sitting back with my knuckle pushed in to my spine forcing it forward to deal with the others. I have always listened to my body and reacted as it wants as in for no reason that at first makes sense, some of what I learned online yesterday from all the graphs I found, show me that without knowing why I was using a lot of the reflex points around my body, without knowing they where there. I do strongly believe that your body tells you these things and we all do it without having an explanation as to why.

This morning I woke as always with pain in my back and dead legs and arms. So no change there. Getting out of bed and the first half hour was as painful and stiff as I have now been for years. What I have found this morning is that the soles of my feet are burning really early, by many hours. I just hope that they will settle as a whole day with it isn’t my idea of fun, I feel simply that it delayed the effect from last night to today, or it could just be coincidence.

It is hard to stay open minded about this process and to work out if it is worth the cost, yesterday was a gift and I really appreciated that but going forward it is a cost that I am not sure we can afford, at £45 per session it is a lot to commit to, with no income for myself we are having to watch our pennies. What happens now? I am sure there has to be a way of replicating the effect on my feet, because that was a real boost, but doesn’t have the cost attached. I have seen massage mats that you simply have your feet on when seated and the small movements that we all make while apparently still are meant to be enough to do the same. I will need to do a little research.

One day one. the Reflex

I was going to answer the individual comments but I realised to do that would remove much of what I had planned to write today. Yesterday massage looking back on it was really great when it came to two hours spent with an interesting and friendly person who understood from her work what it is like to live with chronic illness, just not having to describe everything in detail was in itself refreshing, the normal fact of new people in my life is normally long detailed discussion on how it feels to be me, I don’t mind doing that but as I said it was refreshing. The massage itself was relaxing but as she commented I didn’t seem to have the knotted muscles that most do, simple reason for that I know is I am at peace in my world and not fighting it.

So here I am 24 hrs on and what do I feel now and last night, well last night first. I did notice that the burning feeling I usually have at the end of a day in the soles of my feet was remarkably lessened, something I am grateful for as sitting at a time when I want to relax but not being able to, as I don’t know how to stop the pain in my feet, is an annoyance everyday. I suspect though that if someone who doesn’t know anything a bout reflexology sent an hour gently massaging my feet everyday I would get a similar effect. Massage does notably increases the blood flow and gentle pressure on the muscles does release some pain. I know myself that when I have a muscle that is driving me mad with a spasm that to shove my fingers as deeply into the muscle forces it to let go, I would then expect the more gentle motion to release those that are just no sitting quietly and correctly.

The rest of my body I have to say I really didn’t feel any change, well their might have been a slight change in the pain in my legs but again I can see that the massage on my feet will have helped with the blood flow through out my legs and that may have reduced and relieve some of the leg spasms. The discomfort round where my diaphragm is, which would include may gallbladder, liver and spleen what she was working on through the reflex points in my feet was the same as ever. I spent the evening as I always do, part of the time leaning forward to help with one area, then sitting back with my knuckle pushed in to my spine forcing it forward to deal with the others. I have always listened to my body and reacted as it wants as in for no reason that at first makes sense, some of what I learned online yesterday from all the graphs I found, show me that without knowing why I was using a lot of the reflex points around my body, without knowing they where there. I do strongly believe that your body tells you these things and we all do it without having an explanation as to why.

This morning I woke as always with pain in my back and dead legs and arms. So no change there. Getting out of bed and the first half hour was as painful and stiff as I have now been for years. What I have found this morning is that the soles of my feet are burning really early, by many hours. I just hope that they will settle as a whole day with it isn’t my idea of fun, I feel simply that it delayed the effect from last night to today, or it could just be coincidence.

It is hard to stay open minded about this process and to work out if it is worth the cost, yesterday was a gift and I really appreciated that but going forward it is a cost that I am not sure we can afford, at £45 per session it is a lot to commit to, with no income for myself we are having to watch our pennies. What happens now? I am sure there has to be a way of replicating the effect on my feet, because that was a real boost, but doesn’t have the cost attached. I have seen massage mats that you simply have your feet on when seated and the small movements that we all make while apparently still are meant to be enough to do the same. I will need to do a little research.

Reflexology

The therapist has been and gone, she is a really lovely lady and was here for 2 hours. We started with talking and I gave her a list of my illnesses and the problems that I am really looking for the most help with. She then set up her massage table and mixed an oil with had a mild smell of herbs to it, before starting on my feet where to be honest she concentrated on. Basically she was working on the lines of reflexology, I don’t know about it in great detail but my personal knowledge of it is that it works on the principal that different areas of the body control the health of internal organs, muscles and bones, the largest amount of time was spent preforming a small circular motion on the arch of my left foot to begin with, as she said these where the areas associated with my Gallbladder, spleen and digestive track. I found this on line after she left and it shows exactly the areas she was targeting to try and relieve some of the problems I have at the moment.

foot-reflexology-chart1

She said that it was normal to find a crystal type substance that disperses with massage, I to be different didn’t have any crystal she said they felt more like bubbles, but they did slowly move and disperse. She talked to me all the time and mentioned that there was a problem area also in my liver, spleen and pancreas, if so they are yet to be discovered by the Doctors. It is hard to know if this has made any difference to those area’s, all I can say is at the minute sitting still here at my computer, is that I can still clearly feel those points where she was massaging them. It wasn’t particularity painful but where she found the bubbles, exactly were I actually pain frequently, I did feel some pain but nothing unbearable, we did discuss then the masking of pain due to my meds and she said it was a problem a lot of her client talk about, and yes it was impossible to know if I wasn’t on my meds how much pain was really there. Strangely I hadn’t though a great deal about it in the past but I do know that when I feel really bad or just really tired, I also get a lot of pain in my feet making it even harder to walk, and they burn when I am sitting still. I had put all that down to my nerves but there reflex pint could be telling me a different story, something to think about.

She then massaged the backs of both my legs and then on to my lower back. Again she said there were bubbles in my back and the only tight area that I have was up at the top of my spine near my neck. She then also tried some reiki on my lower back, she said that I should feel a warmth on my skin as she just stood there with her hand not quite touching me, I have to say I felt nothing at all. All of this took 2 hours and my conclusion is that it is a very pleasurable to have you feet massaged over a slow long period of time, has it helped to relieve the pain, well not that I am noticing, but I suppose that it may take a few hours or a day or so, I don’t know what to expect, all I have to do is keep my fluids up over the rest of the day and wait. I have the worst pain and immobility problems at the end of the day and I suppose that tonight will tell me more than I can say right now. I have her phone number and I will keep it here as I am still open minded and unsure, only time will tell.

Arrangments

I am a lot brighter today, as I thought it was just one of those days and there was no escaping it, I just had to get through it. Days like that happen to all of us, and I am lucky that they really don’t happen that often. I am not sure how or why but I really do get less of them now than I used to, some might want to put that down to the constant flow of antidepressants but I am not so sure. I think yesterday was really about trying to get my head round the new addition, especially as until I talk to the specialist I won’t have a clear explanation of what is really happening. It is always easy to say don’t think about it, but as we all know the more you try not to think about something the more you actually do think about it.

I have a therapist coming tomorrow, Adams mother goes to yoga and through talking to the class teacher they arranged for me to see a woman who works with other people with multiple chronic conditions. Although she will be here in the morning I still can’t make up my mind as to what help she will be, it is hard for me to see how she will help me as massage is her specialist area and I already know without trying that pressing areas that hurt makes them hurt more, I can’t find anything in me that sees how that will improve anything. I went to some alternative therapies before I know it was MS in a hope to find relief from all the different symptoms I had and all they ever managed to do was make things worse. I am trying to keep an open mind but it isn’t that easy. She is due here at 10 am tomorrow so I will be a little behind with everything I normally do each day as I expect she will be here for at least an hour.

I am hoping that she will be able to help with my legs they are still the worst part of everything. Adam did some housework in the living room yesterday with the results that I had to walk round the room today repositioning all the ornaments. Just the act of doing this with the small amount of bending and remaining bent for a few seconds, has left them aching and fatigued muscles. Activity levels is now zero for awhile while they are recovering, in other words once again having to put sitting pressure on my pelvis so my legs can rest. Oh the fun of doing nothing. lol.

Once again I have spent all morning stopping to dial the number for the OT service but at always all I ever get is the engaged tone. I really don’t know how you are meant to get hold of these people as not once have I heard anything else but engaged. The letter I have doesn’t even have an email address so that you can contact them that way and writing a letter seems ridicules these days, you know I can’t actually remember the last time I wrote to anyone, yes sign things and post it back but actually sit and write something then put it in an envelope with a stamp on it, I have no idea at all. Strange but I use to write letters all the time and it is now something that nearly no one even thinks of doing, I suppose that it is yet another of one of those thing that has disappeared into the past to be lost for ever.