Medication is almost as difficult at times to handle as they illness is so I agree totally with the title to the above picture. Although I constantly say you have to listen to your body I do when it comes to medication find myself waiting, just as it took me several weeks of increased pain to call my GP yesterday and discuss again the options. The only med open to me now that can be increased is the Oxycontin, I have been on it for several years now and I am taking 30mg twice a day. I like many started a 10mg and it has increased as time has passed and for me I have had no side effects and no problems of any kind that I am aware of, so increasing the dose on the surface should seem like an easy decision to take, but it as most things, just not that simple. Like all opiates your body becomes tolerant to the drug and the dose has to keep going up and up, I had to think long and hard about going on to it in the first place as I knew the first step meant I we boarding a train with no brakes.
What is happening at this very second is what I worried about before starting, the level of pain in my legs now, is not far off as bad as it was before the first dose of Oxycontin, I know my future will always be stepping up the level as required but I don’t want to do this too quickly as I like being awake and with it. My GP wanted to put me straight up to 60mg but I asked him to let me try a smaller increase first, we agreed on just going to 45mg first. The conversation went back and forth and I got the impression he didn’t think it was worth trying the smaller step and that I would be back in weeks, he may be right but I want to try and that is what is now happening. I can see his point, when I said yes years ago, I knew then the path ahead so why keep fighting it, just take them and enjoy the drop in pain. I was brought up in a world were the family GP was god, you did as he said, after all he is the all knowing being of medical knowledge, so to me just suggesting a different route of treatment is still an alien concept.
Stopping opiates is horrendous, but he once again tried to reassure me that it was something that I wouldn’t need to worry about, as there was little chance of my needing to stop them. I know he is right but it isn’t that, that worries me, it really is increasing the dose quicker and higher than is needed. I suppose I always have in the back of my mind the picture of the zonked out junky, somewhere I don’t want to go. Right now I am waiting for the prescription to arrive through the post, I can’t simply snap a table I have and take the bits as they are slow release, breaking them would result in instant release. Fingers crossed I will have them for Thursday night or Friday at the latest, then I will be able to feel the result myself.
Listen for a while to any Twitter conversation on MS and you will eventually hear the discussion of what meds are being taken by who and what the effects are. I am unconvinced of the value of these conversations, my personal experience of suggesting a new medication or a different one from those prescribed, has constantly been that will not help you, it isn’t suitable for your MS, but as I belong in the tiny 5% sector of MS sufferers with Progressive Relapsing MS, that may be why. Although I know longer see GP’s as gods, I do still have a big enough respect for them to accept within reason their knowledge. You or I can read as many leaflets, web pages and have as many conversations as we like, eventually it is the Doctor who still has the power to make those decisions. I’m proud at the minute I had the guts to get what I wanted, it’s a big step confronting a demi-god.