Yesterday went well, well at least when I finally woke up properly not long after our late breakfast. I have realised there is a pattern forming when it comes to Christmas, I head into it with every good intention of sticking to what I know is safe, but when the day arrives, I fling that idea, baby, bath and water out of the window. Actually, for a change this year I got right through the entire day not feeling too bad and apart from not working out the time and what still had to be done, I headed to bed for an hour and a half nap, I wanted to be up until 10 so that I could see Eastenders and I made it. My nap found me waking up with my ears blocked and face mask on, but with the benefit of a good sleep and a plan to get me through the rest of the day, well what I thought was a plan. Plans only work if you have allowed for everything that might and might not happen, I hadn’t allowed for anything other than getting up and sorting our the past 12 hours of Twitter, I hadn’t allowed for talking to Teressa, or cooking and eating dinner, these were clearly things that were going to somehow happen without taking even a second of the time I had left.
I woke feeling really good considering I had already drunk half a bottle of Cava in the shape of Buck-fizz, I poured another and sat fiddling on the PC as I slowly started to come to life, then picked up the phone to return Teressa’s call which I had missed as I was asleep. She had the idea that it would be nice to have a call on Skype, but when I had to have the hard drive changed a while back, I hadn’t reinstalled it, with Teressa now in the UK and our conversations happening more and more on the phone, I simply hadn’t bothered to reinstall it. We spoke for about 20 minutes about nothing of any real importance, just chatter, but it was really good to speak to her, I brought the call to an end simply because it was getting late and I didn’t actually want to be eating dinner too late. Cooking was a conjoined effort, I knew if I hadn’t been in the kitchen it would have taken much much longer and the trout which we were having for our main course would have been some what dry, it only takes a couple of minutes to ruin a piece of fish. Adam was doing the work and I was simply giving instructions, one of which was to set an alarm to ensure the potatoes and veg went on at the right point. It was totally my fault that the white sauce I had planned for the veg didn’t actually happen, I had forgotten to buy milk, we always have a few cartons of long life stuff, I just didn’t realise I had been using them in the wrong order, Apr 2013 didn’t seem like a safe date to use. To be honest I didn’t miss it at all and despite pushing myself, I didn’t manage to finish the main, but I did the dessert. Despite the so far disappointing Christmas TV, what they showed in the evening meant I totally enjoyed the evening on BBC1, good food, good entertainment and good alcohol, meant a perfect evening, even though I was really tired.
So far so good, but this is where it all went wrong, I was exhausted thanks to the last few days and it has caught up with me big style……………
……and I just proved the point that I had been about to write when I suddenly couldn’t stand another second and I went to my bed. I had set the alarm for 2 hours, believing that I wouldn’t sleep any more than maybe an hour. It sounded about 5 minutes ago, I had woken just seconds before and I was almost dressed when it sounded, whilst actually in my hand. If I am totally honest I don’t feel a huge amount better than I did when I went through there, I also recognise it as being what happens when I eat too much. I did have a lot to drink yesterday, but nothing like enough to make me feel this way, a bottle of wine spread over 10 hours doesn’t do this, plus the one thing it doesn’t feel like is a hangover and it does feel totally like something I normally avoid, over eating. I may feel terrible but in all honesty, what ever was the cause, I don’t care, I throw the dice in the air yesterday and today they have landed, so I am happy to accept their result, it was worth it as it was Christmas.
I know without a doubt there are people who don’t have PRMS or anything like it, who simply don’t get how just having a little fun can result in someone being smashed into pieces. This is the life we live, there are no days off, no nice tidy package with the instructions for every day, what we do daily is guess work and what we pay for the guess work, depends on how well we learn to guess. I might not feel like this if I hadn’t insisted in eating 4 Florentine,s, or possible only had half the slice of gateau, who knows, I don’t. Today is a day of paying the price and after my sleep, well I feel that bit better, but I doubt very strongly that I will stop aching, or cease feeling as though every limb is made of lead. I do hope that at some point my balance returns and the room will stand still, the really big issue that pushed me to bed, as vertigo as it is no fun at all.
I hope tomorrow to be back on track and able to also be back in routine, as the whole world is wrong for me right now, something on it’s own can really throw me into being ill. I’ll tell you tomorrow if I still feel that it was all worth while.
Please read my blog from 2 years ago today – 26/12/12 – Switching off pain