Those who have been reading for a while will know that I more or less self-prescribe when I want something I never see my doctor, I just phone talk to him tell him what I think I need and he sends me the prescription. Yesterday we went one step further, I now don’t even need to speak to him! I had phoned in the morning and said to the receptionist that I needed to talk to him and that I required an antibiotic, without saying what for. I waited and waited but eventually as I really needed to go for my nap and I called again to find out what time I might be able to talk to him, to me disappointment I got the snooty receptionist, she has always been a pain, but to be honest it has been worse recently, she asked me to hold and vanished for a few seconds. The change came about a few months ago when I phoned to get my repeat prescriptions and she started arguing with me that she couldn’t request one of them without my going into the surgery for a blood pressure check, I told her that I couldn’t as I am housebound and that I hadn’t had my blood pressure checked for years, not even when I went onto that particular drug. She didn’t like it at all and said she would add it on, but there was no way I was going to get it, I did. When she came back to the phone said that as requested there was a prescription waiting for me for the antibiotic, I was flabbergasted, she didn’t sound much better and said, as it is how I get all my prescriptions, that it would be posted out to me. I have a funny feeling that she is going to be even more snooty now, as she clearly has a problem with the fact that my doctor knows that I am switched on and I don’t ask for something without needing it, nor would I take any chances, if I felt I was having an issue due to a drug I was on, I would speak up. Having said that I am still a bit surprised that a vague, I need an antibiotic actually resulted in a prescription being sent out without any further investigation, even verbal. The only step left is for him to send me out a pad of prescriptions pre-signed just needing me to fill in the drugs, but I can’t see that happening, I do wonder thought just how correct to the rules doctors work to his total faith in my diagnosis and prescribing powers are. On the other hand, I am certain that there are a huge number of people out there who waste their time and their doctors, going to the surgery when they too could make a phone call and just maybe talk to the doctor when needed and not if it is clear cut. The inside of my mouth is still looking no better, I actually can’t wait for them to arrive and to get this whole thing sorted out, at last, it might not be painful itself and the ear and toothache both gone again, I just want this whole thing done and dusted, I have had enough of it.

It doesn’t matter how many years you have been ill, when something new, even just a bug, you don’t really deal with it any better than anyone else does. I suppose that is because somewhere along the line, you start to see your everyday health as normal, it is normal for me to be in pain, tired and unable to function as I once did, add in a cold, or a ‘thing’ and well it has the same impact on me as it would have done 40 years ago. Whatever that extra thing is, or if you are normally healthy or ill, it is going to have an impact on your day to day life, in fact, it often has a bigger impact when you have any or a list of autoimmune conditions. My immune system is there, it just doesn’t work the way most peoples do, I describe it as being too busy destroying me to bother with that extra invader that has appeared, the new guy is tiny, my body is a target that has to be destroyed first, clearly it’s bigger and badder. As I said yesterday, I haven’t fully accepted that I still want to give it a chance, to allow it that opportunity to heal me, despite it failing over and over again. If your immune system doesn’t work properly, getting what might seem like a mild bug to most people, or even something most of us wouldn’t even notice can slap me down dramatically. Bugs and viruses are hard, simply because they can give the impression that you are entering a flare, or that you have been over doing it, they are a constant pain when it comes to working out what is really happening with the bigger issues in life other than a cold. Actually, I haven’t had a cold for ages, it does have the giveaway sign of a streaming nose, so slightly easy to spot.

Bugs aren’t just an issue to the person who has the chronic illness, it is a constant issue to those they live with. Adam constantly checks if he hears me blowing my nose wanting to know if I am getting a cold and it’s easy to see why. I don’t leave the house and if I were to get something, well I have to get it from him, as he is the only person I see. We have talked about this several times and I can’t put his mind at rest over it, he constantly worries about bringing something home with him, especially as he works in a hospital. I can imagine with ease that the majority of families who live with a housebound person worry about this. Clearly, no one what to make anyone ill and if the person they make ill is already struggling with their health, well it stand to reason you don’t want to make them worse. Adam has joined the ranks of this generation’s paranoia about germs, I know that because he constantly comes home smelling of the hand gel they use in the hospital. He is rarely anywhere near the wards, clinics yes, wards no, so he isn’t expected to cover himself in chemical bug killers, but he does. I on, the other hand, don’t worry about it at all, I am inclined to go with the old-fashioned view, my body doesn’t need protecting we are designed to live in this world of germs, germs that we haven’t even given names to all of yet and have never actually done anyone other than those already fighting for their lives any harm what so ever. Standard cleanliness is all that is needed, the sellers of the gels, sprays and so on, are simply making money out of the paranoia they created.

When it comes to any illness, I still hold to my favourite phrase, listen to your body, I admit now that I should have paid attention sooner when the ‘things’ appeared, but pushing on with what I thought was the right thing, hasn’t done me any real harm yet. I am not going to live in a world of paranoia, I refuse to, I intend to enjoy my life and not have it turned into a medical merry-go-round of fear, doctors, and drugs, well not until I have absolutely no choice left.

Please read my blog from 2 years ago today – 12/09/12 – Finding Understanding 

I didn’t realise yesterday I wrote just what I was stirring up. The way I write really is a flow system, I start with a few selected sentences and I just run onward until there are no more for that day. It is I suppose a little haphazard but it works for me and I find that it forces the truth as I haven’t sat and worked out what to say, so only the truth can come out with ease. Just sometimes, though….