It all matters

We all know what it is like, you find something new and you just can’t leave it alone, well…. No, it’s OK I have nothing new wrong, but I discovered yesterday that online, I can select and record all the TV I want to watch without the usual hassle of sitting on the settee, with my glasses on and still not being able to read clearly what is written on the screen. Especially if I have to do a search for it, then there is the added issue that the glasses I needed to see the screen aren’t the same ones as I need to see the remote and when it has to be put in letter by letter, of course checking on screen to be sure what I have put in is actually correct, means I need the other glasses, I usually struggle with just one pair, but it is all a huge hassle. I discovered a few weeks ago that sky would send me alerts when series I enjoyed were about to start their new season, well one arrived yesterday and I discovered from that, that I could control almost everything from right here at my PC where I can see without issues or glasses. Now, well I keep playing with it, looking for this or that and setting it up with ease! It isn’t often the case but for once, someone who was looking to build a techie gimmick has actually produced a useful item for people who can’t manage the full-size version, for whatever the reason. To date the majority of things that I have tried out that were actually designed for people like me, haven’t actually applied to my life, yes they will help some people but once you are housebound your issues grow and change, this discovery isn’t perfect, it doesn’t do everything that I would like, even though it is a tiny thing on the surface, tiny things matter!

I actually think that there probably are loads of things out there that are designed to be used on a smartphone that would help people who can’t afford to buy one just for the apps, but due to the operating systems which aren’t on PC’s, can’t be accessed. Buying a smartphone isn’t the answer anyway, my dexterity would turn it into my worst nightmare, screen scrolling and tapping come all too naturally to me, just not when I mean to do it. Just as most older mobiles the problem with their size meant I got in a mess with them, I know I would get in a far worse mess with their newer cousins, I even struggle when it comes to turning off the alarm on Adams when it sounds and he is already in the shower, the stupid thing is just too sensitive.

I am just waiting for my doctor to call me, I have given in eventually over the ‘things’ in my mouth. I have given them the full three weeks and they are still there, I thought over the weekend that they were really going away, but on Tuesday morning they were all swollen up again and oozing. Despite two more days of washing them out with Corsodyl, I decided yesterday evening that I needed to make the call. This morning I woke to find that I have toothache and earache as well, plus the area of skin over both my hard and soft palate between the two ‘things’ is covered in tiny bumps that I can feel with my tongue but I can’t see them. Both ‘things’ are down in size again today, but clearly after giving them the three weeks, which the medical sites said it would take if they were cankers to go away, wasn’t worth listening to.

I know that these days not wanting to take antibiotics is a rarity, but I always try everything I can think off before giving in and taking them. I don’t know if it is a fact but I can’t help feeling that my immune system is just too busy destroying me, to bother clearing up something like a little puss, any more than it has managed to clear even the mildest bladder infection, my old system of leave it alone it will heal, doesn’t work on anything these days. The more I think about it, other than a tiny scratch nothing has healed by itself now for a very long time. Between my body starting to rot, if not kept extra clean and covered in Savlon and my mouth falling apart, I am beginning to think my whole body is going into a slow degeneration all of its own. On that point Adam and I have managed to get me into a sort of routine when it comes to having showers, he tells me every couple of days to have one and I do, normally, he has to keep telling me for it actually happen, but we are managing and that I suppose is what really matters.

None of this dealing with my health is easy and I know, because it is already happening, that it will only get worse. Adam and I manage, I might not find doing what he tells me to easy, even when I have told him that he has to, but we manage and if anyone told me that they too have the same condition or any other degenerative condition, that is what I would say to them, you will manage. It may not sound like the greatest encouragement, but it is an honest one, not like the ones other people said to me, all people who were fit and healthy, because if you think about your life and you are totally honest about it, the fact is you manage. There are very few people whos lives are glowing examples of the way to live and everything that has happened, happened perfectly for them every single day. In fact, I would go as far as to say there are none. It doesn’t matter how clever we are, how much we earn, how our health is or how wonderful our families are, it all comes down to being able to manage our lives, from setting up what we want to watch on TV, to dealing with ‘things’, or working out how to still live as we die, it all comes down to being able to manage as that is ultimately what keeps us happy.


Please read my blog from 2 years ago today – 11/09/12 – Drip by Drip 

It’s shopping day. That day when I know I will get too little rest and I will be on edge until it is delivered and I have peace again for the rest of the day. Once a fortnight I submit a shopping list online and on the following Tuesday morning it arrives, sounds nice and simple, well…..

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