Yesterday the paperwork from the company who asked me to make a video with them as part of the new site for people with COPD, I had already received them on PDF, I don’t know why, but I really hate PDF, it’s just one of those stupid things, I took a dislike to it when it was still in development and I just can’t get past it. As it all required me to sign and send it back, well I needed a hard copy, not having a printer, Adam and I have both read it through, I asked him to as he has an automatically suspicious mind, so I knew he would find problems where there were none, but if there were any, I knew he would find those to. All cleared, I signed and they are now on the way back to them, I emailed just to let them know they were in the post and to find out when we would be going ahead with the Skype call, with my living so far from London it seemed like the best way for the interview to be done, but there is going to be no Skype call, they are sending someone to see me next week, day to be confirmed.

I find myself agreeing to all these things then wondering why, don’t get me wrong, I haven’t changed my mind in any way, it is a mix of things, why they want me, why I can’t just say no and stay away from anything other than what I am doing right at that second in my own life. I just haven’t ever been able to, whenever someone asks me to do something for something more than just one person, I can’t say no, mind you I don’t normally don’t say no even to just one person usually. Recently I have become a bit better at it as I have learned not to over burden myself, so in truth it is my health that has taught me, but from the first time I was asked by a photographer to pose for picture for a German beer ad, checked out by my parents, who only gave in because I wouldn’t shut up about it, I have said yes to almost everything. In my 20’s it was charities that got me, over and over again, from just being a helper, right through to organising events for thousands of people to attend. During my DJ years it was magazines, newspapers, and TV shows, plus more charity work, over and over I would say yes, then sit and wonder where the words came from and what had I just done. Even when I went into mainstream work I still found it happening, more charity events and more work on top of a full-time job and life, I didn’t seem able to not do something that helped other people. From the first time someone thanked me for all I did on twitter, I was trapped, I was making people’s days better and I can’t resist continuing to, the same went for my blog, the first thank you and I haven’t stopped writing since and everything now is focused around here, as I now, at last, understand why people like and need it. I guess there are some people in this world who are just made that way and all we can do is live with it and question it every once in a while.

Teressa and John spent most of yesterday with us, until mid afternoon when they headed off into the city to see the Kinetic Theatre. She showed me a YouTube video of it and really wish I had known it was there, I think I got the date wrong the other day as it opened in 1996, mind you, it is often the way that you don’t know what is happening in your own city. Once they had gone I headed to bed as I was quite drained, I suppose it is going to take a couple of days to get myself back to normal, my pain levels were all over the place all day long. I would be fine one minute and the next unable to breathe, I didn’t help things by insisting on cooking lunch, which meant I spent half an hour in the kitchen sat on my perching stool and wondering back and forward to the fridge and stove. By the time I was sitting down again I didn’t actually think I was going to be able to get up again, but I had to as the glass of coke Adam said he would bring through for me, was still in the kitchen. My nap didn’t refresh me at all and even when I went to bed last night I slept instantly, not waking at all again. I know it is too early to put anything down to the change in tablet times but again today I felt so much better when the alarm sounded. I suppose that I have to really give it a week to be able to say one way or another, but my fingers are well crossed that this continues. To be fair I need to give it a full two weeks especially as Adam is still on holiday for the rest of the week and that alone fools around with my routine. He is in the shower now getting ready to go and spend the day with his mum, so I will be alone until the tomorrow morning, not that he won’t be home, he will, I will just be asleep. He has managed to get himself wound up about the results from his blood test as we had a phone call on Tuesday from the doctor asking him to make an appointment and come in and see the doctor. To a degree, I am not exactly cool about it either, but Adam is expecting something horrendous to be behind it, where as I am expecting to hear that his cholesterol is high, either way, he is back there tomorrow morning. Spending today with his mother will let him get the fear out as I know that he will talk to her about it, were talking to me is something he wouldn’t do at this stage as he wouldn’t want to stress me out with it, not that talking makes any sense at this point, 24hrs and we will know what is happening rather than worrying about the unknown.

Please read my blog from 2 years ago today – 06/08/12 – The learning process

Thank you for all the tweet answers and comments left yesterday. The result is very much what I thought it would be, that I should gently stretch but not try to overstretch the tendons. Even those with MS or similar conditions agree despite the balance of causing pain in the muscles, it seems that it is the price for maintaining as much mobility as possible. One of the problems of MS is that the…..