Snore day number one…..otherwise know as Saturday, the first day of two snore days where Adams snoring from the settee is once more blocking out the TV! How does he do it? I honestly would have thought that not even he could sleep through when it is this bad, not because of the noise but surely it must hurt his throat. May be I should keep writing sentences like this as guess what, he just shut up and settled into what can only be described as a contented snore. I used to wonder at the number of hours a day he could sleep, right from when we first met, sleeping right through the day was something he found easy, a couple of hours of activity and back to sleep. Back then I survived on what I could get, not due to my health but due to work and my obsession of making sure our home environment was just so, perfectly set out, tidy and never a muddle or mess. I ran my life tightly, getting up at 5:30, working in the office, plus bringing work home, before working on our home, only making it to bed around midnight. I can’t remember when 5 hours wasn’t normal for me, but it feels and sounds so alien these days.
I was sat last night on the settee while Adam was in the kitchen doing his weight, the only hobby he had for all his adult life, it gave me some time to sit and sort out the “on demand” recordings that I wanted from the past few days. I found myself sitting there feeling like I was totally ancient, simply because I was having to put on and take off my glasses constantly. I can’t see any on screen writing without them, but I also needed to enter letters and so on using the hands set, which don’t forget has button so small that hitting each one cleanly, is often more luck than design. I could see the whole picture in my mind, a picture that appeared was of a little grey hair old lady, fighting with technology, not through lack of understanding, just through lack of physical ability. Being 53 and not 83, means that I find that picture rather depressing. It is always those silly little things, things that are everyday to everyone else, for me have become a trial that there is no escaping. Despite that, I have to say that after a PC, the next thing I would recommend to anyone who is housebound, is “On Demand TV”, I know I was slow to actually set it up on my sky box, but I wouldn’t be without it now. Not having to put up with any form of daytime TV is a blessing, I had always been grateful we had sky, as it meant at least I could watch documentaries rather than the endless drivel offered up else where, but now I no longer feel I am missing anything when I climb into bed at 9pm, I can still see ALL the really good programs, not just the one I could record. Being chronically ill and housebound now, is a million miles from how it would have been just 20 years ago, we are actually very lucky in many ways we don’t even think about these days, as the world is now geared up, not for the ill, but for a “life style society”. All those gadgets and gizmo’s made for fashion, by chance and not design, makes my life and many many others much more interesting, connected and yes at times frustrating, purely because of small keys and writing.
I’m finding in the last couple of days that I am getting a lot of pain in my hands. Like most things I notice it more when I am doing nothing, but even now I do can feel the both my hands for the heal to my figure tips there is a tingling that is just below what I would count as painful. When I sit still though, it is a constant trial of electric shocks dancing through my hands and peaking when the explode at the end of each nerve path. I have had these sensations before but this time it is some how more concentrated, as though it is has become focused. I think the best way of describing it is to compare it to a plasma lamp, the generator ball is set close to the heal of my hand and just like the light show they provide, the pain fires off all over the place, where ever it can find a root to the edge of my hands. The last time this happened it was also reaching up to my elbow and was only on the left side, I don’t think I have ever had this in both hands at the same time. It doesn’t effect my hands in any other way they are working fine, but they are also providing another sensation that is actually far more annoying, they itch, mad intense itches, which I have even gone to the extent of using my teeth to relieve for just a few seconds. For some reason the same itching has been all over my face now for a few days, that is harder to deal with, as I don’t really want to be covered in scratch lines, something that often appears over night when I can’t control my actions. Itching has always been a problem, nerves start to tingle and when that tingle gets intense you simply have to scratch at it, something when you are alone is fine, but when sat round a meeting table at work and you want to scratch madly at the outside of your nose, then your eyebrow, your scalp and your ear, well it doesn’t look that great. I’m sure some thought I had fleas. When it is at it’s worst I have been know to draw blood beyond a fine line of a scratch and not even know I have done it, until I eventually see it all over my hands.
I mentioned a few days ago that I was thinking about providing a link to post I wrote exactly 2 years ago and that if I felt there was something in that post that had changed or needed up dating that I would also add a paragraph about it. Well I have decided to go ahead with this idea, the posts of course will be mixed and cover different things from what I am writing about today, but I think it is quite interesting to look aback and see the changes and the events of those posts. Starting from today you will find a final line with the title, date and link to the post, and if needs be a few words to go with it. Back then I didn’t write daily so there will be occasions when there will be no link, I just hope you find it as interesting as I have found it over the last couple of weeks when I have been reading the posts to see if it was worth doing or not.
Data Overload!!!! > 15/02/12 > http://bit.ly/1dw1jyE
Two years ago I was still under the illusion that I would find another job that would allow me to work from home.
That’s such a great idea, to link to other parts of your life, in posts that some of us may not have read and or want to know more about your past life. I know that I’m relatively knew to your blog and I am by mature a very curious person, like the psychological and emotional side of people, find that it tells you so much about a person. When I’ve read certain things you’ve mentioned from your earlier life, I have found myself thinking, ” that makes sense” because I truly believe all your earlier life experience forms much of the person you become, that’s my view and experience anyway! I look forward to more reading and insights and thank you fro sharing it all so candidly.