I am in a really down mood today, Twitter is part of it as they wiped everything over night and I have wound myself up over that in the first couple hours of the day but the problem is almost fixed so I am a lot calmer again. As you know my emotional reaction to things is screwed up so what should have been a little annoying turned in to the end of the world. I know though it isn’t Twitter that is behind all of it as I felt like this as soon as I woke up. To be fair I think it really started yesterday, my happiness at the fact I had Gallstones which could be fixed was wearing off and turning into confusion. Everything I have read says that Gallstones are formed by cholesterol, but my diet has never been high cholesterol. I have all my life hated grease or fatty foods other than Bacon but I always grill or Dry fry it so that the fat runs off, in fact I don’t add fats unless I have to and then usually I add tiny amounts of oil, not hard fats.

Looking back on my diet through out my life my diet was high in cholesterol as a child but as soon as I was away from my mother, age 13, then it changed as I discovered what I call real food as in not everything going through the chip pan or being cooked until destroyed. Once I was responsible for what I ate, things changed dramatically I stopped eating large amounts of red meat and in fact for many years I was a Vegetarian, when I did start eating meat again it was mainly chicken and fish, but high in fruit and veg and is that way to this day. I don’t even own a deep fat frier as I see no good use for one. Nearly every thing is cooked so that any fat there is on the meat will drain away. I eat bread but always a high fiber with loads of seeds through it, I never add butter or marg and usually eat it dry. I eat at least 7 or 8 pieces of fruit each day along with salad every day. Meat or fish is only in my diet about once a week and the meat is either Turkey or Chicken. I use both butter and cream when cooking but as in the past 8 yrs or so I only cook once or twice a week, that counts as rather small amounts over a period of time. I have never been a fan of take outs and I can only remember having a couple of Chinese meals in the past 5 yrs or so, but I am human and there have been spells in my life where those levels were higher. On top of that I have only ever had my cholesterol measured a couple of time the last was about 14yrs ago that I know of, and it was only 2 or 3 as it was the time before. Does that make sense to you? I am left wondering if my medication could cause them?

So today I am feeling like I am totally fed-up with the whole being ill thing, as none of it feels fair. If I felt in anyway that I had caused any of it then fair enough, but I don’t see how I did. If they told me tomorrow that I had lung cancer then fine, I have smoked all my life that would be my fault! I just don’t see how I could have caused any of the things I have to live with and by tomorrow I will be myself again. I am off for a sulk.

3 thoughts on “Sulking

  1. Must be something in the air! I have been feeling deflated and low for days, I am blaming the recent spate of insect bites that I have reacted to, and the inability to do anything to properly clean/clear/treat/vacuum my hovel.

    Acceptance is not a once done thing, it keeps coming back to be reviewed, worse than the dreaded work appraisals, never getting a satisfactory reason or decision.

    Hope there is some sunshine in your day soon to help, if you find any, leave crumbs for me to follow 🙂


  2. I agree with amgroves. Sometimes life just doesn’t seem fair. Those who do all the ‘right things’ often seem to come off worse than those who don’t give a toss.
    I’m having a bit of a moany day today too so you are in good company. xxx


  3. I too can massively over-react to the frustration of technical things unexpectedly going wrong, when they seem beyond my control.
    Maybe have a nice sleep, then find something to take your mind off of how your feeling later on ?


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