Sometimes I am not as quick on picking up on something as I like to think I am. Strangely this has been on of my beliefs for many years but I realise that it is actually as important to surviving chronic illness, as my belief that you have to keep achieving, for those who don’t want to write or don’t have the space or funds to set up a hobby that requires more component than a PC or paper, at the very list this is something all can do and I did without meaning to. I have mentioned a few times in the past that I have learned a lot in the past few years, not just about surviving illness and how to adapt to a different type of life, but I have learned a lot about history as I have a love of documentaries. I believe strongly that keeping your mind active is important, but it is more than that, I hadn’t realised as it was something I do without thinking, I have been turning my mind to learning and unlike school I am learning what I am interested in. With so much on TV all day long and the sky box to record what is on while I sleep to watch during the day, makes it free and so easy to do.
The strange thing is that when I was at school learning felt like hard work, but when you are doing it because you want to, it is very different. I know a lot of people might think what is the point, well I can see that, it isn’t as though by learning I will be able to get a better paid job or even a job at all, but what it is, is a way of expanding an interest, now that I have the time and the chance to do it. I have found that by making myself watch the odd program that I didn’t think I would like, has also formed new interests that I would never have considered before, notably the second world war. All my life I had been avoiding anything involving it now I don’t think there is a program that I haven’t seen. Although my body has let me down somewhat and even my brain isn’t as sharp as it was once, I still have enough left to work on keeping it learning and keeping it active. That is why as I have mentioned before I worry when I find myself staring into space with nothing in my mind at all, I have never had a mind that stood still long enough to be staring in to space.
Learning is as much achieving as sitting here writing is and I think is just as important. Keeping my mind busy isn’t about avoiding thinking about what is happening to me, but it does stop me dwelling on what I can’t change. It does also give me interests to fill the gaps I would have spent years ago going out, working and doing housework. I believe 100% that if I had done what many think of as the normal journey of slipping into sitting on the settee watching day time bubble gum TV, I would be in a very different state, I believe that I would have been in the state that I fear most, a half human zombie. I am constantly asked how do I stay positive, well this is probably part of the answer, the combination of my natural attitude, achieving, learning and still growing as a person. I am still developing who I am, as long as I am move into new areas, still enjoying discovery of what I didn’t know before, what have I to be depressed about. Life after all is about learning and moving onward, not about looking backwards and wishing what is, isn’t.