I woke early this morning due to the pain in my legs, you would think that lying down would easy it and improve things by the next day, but unfortunately my muscles don’t understand night time or respect it, my mind may sleep but the muscles keep tensing regardless. I came through to my PC at 6:30 am, sitting is often less painful than just lying there, I do often wonder if that has more to do with distraction than any real reduction in pain. Once logged on I, like everyone else I checked my email, facebook and twitter, today I was expecting to be waiting to see an message on one of them from Teressa, today is the day that she is due to arrive back in the UK and like any mother I have been looking forward to it ever since I heard she was returning. I hadn’t expected to see the message there already and read it straight away, a message was waiting for me and I thought it was to be just a quick line to say she was on the plane, but no she is here in the UK. I’m really bad with the international times and I am glad that it won’t be a problem, but there is one.

Teressa has been living with a guy she met at Sega in San Fransisco, they have been together just short of 2yrs and John was more than happy to move here to be in the UK with her. John and her had traveled here together and knew immigration might not be the easiest process, even Teressa was a little concerned with the whole process for herself, as although she is a UK citizen her passport is in here maiden name but her American Green card in her married name, a marriage that broke down about 5 yrs ago. They thought that if they were totally honest with immigration and told them that John and her lived together and he was here as her partner and that her income was more than enough for both of them to live on until he obtained the paper work to stay here. They have let him into the country for 24hrs to allow him to see Teressa into her flat, then he has to return to the airport, where his passport is, then back to the States. I feel so sorry for her, but it was always a possibility, she is now going to be living alone in London and he is heading to the US with no job and no home.

It was always a possibility that this would happen, the immigration laws for anyone from outside the EU are tough, but I can’t help but feel heart broken for both of them, all they wanted was to come here, her home country and start a new life together. I know how hard life can be and I have always disagreed with dishonesty, so in many ways none of it surprises me, but it doesn’t make it right either. Right now I am just waiting but for once not for any medical reason, I am just waiting for her to call me and I wish I had away of getting to her. It is at times like these that I get angry with my body, I am her Mother and I want the simplest thing, to be there with her to help her through this, but all I can do is sit here and type.

I have found in the past few years that these are the times when I really feel my housebound status, a few months ago when my Father died I wanted to go to Aberdeen to attend his funeral, for years the whole family had said none of them would be there, but come the day my brothers and my sister were there, I sat here and typed. Frustration on these occasions grows and I know that is a dangerous thing to happen, my health balances on a fine line and drop off it I get ill, it turns the whole thing upside down. Home is my sanctuary from the world that causes the all to dangerous stress, that same sanctuary is now the source of the stress. Life isn’t easy on any of us, look into any ones life, even those with more money than you can dream of, and you will find they have their own problems and stresses, show me the person alive who has no stress, and will show you a freak. Where ever you live and what ever you do, you will have stress and problems, just different ones to me. I know many don’t understand how I can manage with my life as it is, but there are as many out there that I don’t understand how you cope with your lives. We all adapt, we all learn to cope and we all get on with what is in front or us, that doesn’t mean we have to like it all the time.