The scales tilt

Over the last few weeks I have been suffering with increased pain in my arms and legs, I think I have mentioned it several times in recently but I keep putting off calling the Doctor as I really wasn’t keen on upping any of my meds really. It looks as though I am going to have to give in and make that call. The whole of the weekend and again this morning the pain is just silly, I can find no relief when either sitting lying down or standing and I know my left foot has dropped a little more, which does of course mean that I am now putting the incorrect weight on all my other leg joints and muscles, in time they will also hurt. I am not sure but it seems as thought big changes are happening. I know the heat of the last few days hasn’t helped, but this has been going on longer than that. I am finding that I have to keep moving even when sitting, the pain in my lower leg is the worst area and I can relieve it a little by moving slightly, but it just triggers another to replace it. Waist down things have slowly over the last few months started to all go wrong. Progression again, just the way life is.

I used to fear losing my eyesight more than anything else until yesterday. I woke from my afternoon sleep and the pain made it really hard to get out of bed, far more than it usually is. It hit me then that everything I have done to manage my illness, wouldn’t help me if I couldn’t walk at all. I live in a Victorian Tenement flat, not in any way wheelchair friendly, if my arms hold out well yes, I could use crutches, but they would only be of use to help me to the toilet, bed or computer, I couldn’t carry a mug of coffee, if I needed them full time I can’t see how I would manage by myself. There are still problems a head, I always knew that, but with little money, the solutions are complex. Clearly it is time for me to start working on the next phase and to look for the solutions that suit me best.

The first thing I need to do though is sort out better pain control, once I am not spending all my energy trying to live with it I should have enough left to see what my future options are. This is the constant life with a progressive condition, as soon as you think things are just ticking over the balance slips and your back to solution searching.