Quid pro quo

Although sometimes from my posts it might seem that every minute of everyday is spent dealing with the problems that occur due to my MS. Well like any of you reading this, my life is no more one dimensional than yours. I think it is far too easy to let your world be dominated by one thing and one thing only, it is important for all of us to have a varied life as it is to have a varied diet. I can look back on my life and see those periods where my world closed in on just one thing and verged on being obsessive, that sounds kind of creepy I’m sure, but if you really think about it, you will find those times in your life too. Those times from teenage onward, when a new love appears in your world and you bloke out everyone and everything else, because at that moment the only thing of any importance is that love. When you become a parent and there is a new life in this world, a life that needs and demands every second of you time and energy to guide and aid it through those first precious and important weeks of life. Although we don’t see it as such at the time, they are obsessions, because an obsession is something that takes over and makes you change your life, but with your permission.

MS has opened my horizons not closed them and I have learned so much from it that my life is anything but one dimensional. I has been the driving force behind obsessions, obsessions that have added so much to my life that looking back I have no idea where my life would be now without it. I have learned more about medical conditions and issues than I ever believed I would, I have read and referenced, cross referenced and bookmarked thousands of pages of information learning as I went, about hundreds of other conditions not just MS. I learned how to program in VBA so that I could produce the tools required to keep me working as long as I could, I learned to build and maintain complex systems and along the way my IT skills grew, when just a few years before diagnosis I was still scared that I could destroy a PC without trying. I have met and been inspired by medical staff, patients and their family who I would never have met without MS, but by meeting them I have learned and expanded my understanding of life. I now know about and how to use equipment that before I was aware of vaguely in others lives, wheelchairs, gastric nasal tubes, catheters, braces and PH balances. Recently I have discovered, LinkedIn, Facebook, blogging and twitter, all things on their own that could be seen as obsessive. I have stopped wasting hours of my life playing silly PC games just to do what, beat an invisible opponent by hitting pixels. Now using that time to explore, enjoy and learn from the internet, wondering into subjects I would never of thought of looking for and finding them not only interesting but they opening more avenues to learn.

My life is far from one dimensional and all because I became ill. I have learned so much and found out so much about myself, that if anything I would say there are now more dimensions to my life than there ever were at any other stage in my life. It sounds a little odd but I feel strongly that MS has turned into a positive catalyst, although physically it is slowly destroying me, psychologically it has stimulated and enhanced my personal world. Maybe it is true that what life takes with one hand it gives with the other.