The return of Rehab.

My call to the Rehab team was answered yesterday afternoon by a visit from the nurse, luckily it was the same one as last time so I didn’t have to go over everything again. I was more a case of bringing her up to date and discussing what may or may not have been causing the problems of last week. As always I found that at the point she left we had achieved yet again what I really didn’t want, I am about to start taking even more drugs. Two are to have their doses increased and I am to add yet another one into the cocktail.

On the Breakfast News last week I remember them talking to a lady who had a chronic condition, the name of which I have forgotten, what I do remember was her complaining that she had to take 3 tablets everyday, for the rest of her life. I wonder how she would feel about swallowing 7 tablets and 2 liquids at the start of each day, supplementing lunch with 2 more and fitting in 3 tablets and 2 liquids before bed, not forgetting the odd inhaler when required. I would love to through the whole damned lot in the bin, but they are the only way I have just a little control over my MS. This mornings Breakfast News actually had a piece on MS, the interviewee seemed to have around the same level of speech problems as I do and a slightly better memory. She is luckier than me in that her MS is Relapse Remitting, the form that is most common and therefore as always when it comes to pharmaceutical companies, the one that most research money is spent on. It sounds as though the new drug she is taking works wonderfully and I am truly glad that some progress has actually been made. Yet again though those like me who are Relapse Progressive, Primary Progressive or Secondary Progressive are left to our cocktails.

I am sure that one day if not a cure, a control system, will be found for all forms, but I am not under the illusion that it will be in my lifetime. I spend little time these days chasing rainbows on line, Adam still does but that is just his way. There have been so many people duped by individuals claiming to have the magic formula that will change their lives. To many who have parted with fortunes to follow a dream that has disappeared in the daylight as dreams do.

For now I pop the pills, take the rest and follow the rules. I wait each day and pray each night, if I can say that 24hrs have passed without anything getting worse, then I can say I have had a good day. I think though it has more to do with my age than with my MS. Experience of life has shown me that the only rainbows worth chasing are the ones you paint yourself. I’m painting mine here. May-be, just possibly, someone will read something that I write and it will spark something within them. That spark may just be all that is needed for their rainbow, to be the cure.

Rehab

I actually had a visitor today a real human being walked through my front door. She didn’t bring any gift, even though she is the first person to visit here in 2012, she brought 2 hours of questions and checks. I gave in trying and hoping that the increased pain levels I have had for the last few weeks would go away or lessen, so last week I made the phone call and brought in not the ‘A Team’ but the ‘Rehab Team’. The used to call them the ‘District Support Team’, for what ever reason they thought a change of name was needed, can’t help thinking that it meant to make them seem more modern, as it seems to be only the name that has changed, the lists of questions clearly hadn’t.

2 hours of questions, which if they actually had joined up system, most of the questions she asked, they already have the answers to. She went round the flat checking that everything was suitable and then discussed what I had called her here for. So now I wait again while she goes back and discusses the sheet of answers with the rest of the team. I really don’t want to increase the morphine yet, I have a fog filled brain anyway without an increased artificial one on top. What I really want is a top up drug so that when there is breakthrough pain I can hit it back rather than be doped all the time.

For now though I just have to deal with it, I have to say her suggestion of a slightly larger Gin in the evening until we get on top of it, sounds OK with me. I know that having my meds totally checked and assessed is long over due. I have managed them for long enough and although I hate to say it, I need their help. For now though I am heading for my bed, the whole thing has left me exhausted:)