About Me

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About 30 years ago when I was a young mother I became aware of spells of feeling exhausted, at times confused, bad spells of dizziness and pain all over the place. It would go away and then come back making life impossible at times and no one could tell me what was wrong. Each time it reappeared it was worse than before and always left me with either a new symptom to live with or one that I already had was worse.

Every Doctor I saw in the first 17 years dismissed me and told me there was nothing wrong because by the time I got an appointment with a specialist, I was better.

In 2000 there was a sudden change. It started just as all other spells of illness had, but it was going on and on, and it was worse than any I had known to date. I decided to demand an answer as I had had more than enough of being fobbed off. It took a year, a year where it never went away and a year to continual hospital visits for more tests.

2001 was marked by the news that I have Multiple Sclerosis. The toll it has taken on my life is now is clear for all to see but I am a fighter and although housebound I am still fighting. This isn’t a medical site this is an ongoing story of me, my life and, my health.

64 thoughts on “About Me

  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog and liking a post. I’ve gone through ruling out MS as part of my journey with fibromyalgia. Even now, its possibility hangs over my head. I will send many good wishes your way every day to help lift your mood as your fingers ache and sharp corners thwart your progress. Attitude is something we sometimes only have any control over. Blessings!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. The only answer we have for death is: ‘Not yet!’ That’s a weak answer, more of an evasion. Maybe that’s why there is a taboo about serious disability and death.
    I am a 60 year old man, mainly healthy, so far. I worked for years in hospitals and nursing homes. I took care of MS patients and lots of Alzheimer’s patients. I saw people in misery cling to life no matter what. I never heard a single patient say, ‘Oh, I would be better off dead.’ Who says things like that? Healthy people. Nursing homes are full of people who said, ‘I would never go to a nursing home.’ When the time to decide came, they went, because it meant another day of life. Often someone decides for them and they acquiesce. That can almost be seen as a mundane act compared to the alternative: setting out for a one-way trip to the undiscovered country.
    The fear of death may not be enough to keep one here. There must be conviction that life is good. I have seen healthy people with cynical dismissive attitudes toward human striving. Fuck ’em. Ha! Just kidding…
    As long as you have your mind you’ll have the imagination to cherish life. The most fascinating and beautiful things in life first take place in the mind–and they can thrive there. Good luck, brave girl and thanks for writing your fascination, your beauty.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi, thanks for stopping by my blog and liking a post. I’ve read a couple of your most recent posts and am looking forward to reading more. I’m sending you best wishes and some gentle hugs.
    ms mary p

    Like

    • Thank you, I’m glad you find my site of interest. I know that you have RA, but I know from experience, the condition often doesn’t matter. It’s our lifestyles that meet along the way and we will find understanding, in each others words.

      Take care

      Pam (((Hugs)))

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Thanks for stopping by and letting me know about your blog! I’ve added it to my “Great Blogs by People who Happen to Have MS” list of links; hope you don’t mind. ^_^

    Like

  5. Thanks for visiting and following…great to meet you! I was also diagnosed at end of 2000 and boarded in April 2001. The ups and downs go with the cycle of life I suppose – ours are just more extreme than others sometimes! Although I believe that we all have something we are learning and the ‘suffering’ is really subjective to each one, don’t you think? Ah, there I go, waxing philosophical again – apologies! πŸ™‚
    Just wanted to say “Hi’ and thanks! Thoughts with…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Like you, although we have chosen very different routes, it is my daily writing that helps me get through all my MS throws at me. I am guessing that you have RRMS, I didn’t see it named, I have PRMS so our course of illness is very different. As you say, MS varies so much, which is why I made a decision not to write so much about MS, but life with chronic illness. We all share symptoms and lifestyles and it is an open door when it comes to the problems we come up against. From feedback, it appears I share far more than I even thought.

      I hope right now that you are in remission, (something I’ve never had) and life is treating you well.

      Take care πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      • I was initially diagnosed with PPMS and told not to expect to see the end of 2001!
        Well, proved them wrong and my course has been more RRMS over the past few years! Busy recovering from 2 nasty relapses towards the end of last year – managing to walk again (with sticks) and the double vision only bothers when hot and/or tired – consider myself ‘lucky’ in many ways!
        As you say though, all MS courses are individual.
        Take care and thoughts with…:)

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Comment by: Stephen Walker

    Hi Pamela,

    I have followed your blog and you on Twitter for many years.

    I feel a kind of kindred spirit. I believe we are both from Scotland, both have MS and both blog about the condition.

    You are far more prolific a blogger that I, but hopefully I will get a chance to catch up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Stephen

      I think the style I write in allows for daily blogging. No thought, no planning, no ideas before I start. I just open my brain and let the words fall out, your appears to have much more thought and consideration behind it.

      Writing is like everything else about our health, we do it either when we are up to it and we have something to say, or we do it as I do, to stay sane. Either way, there is no right or wrong.

      Take care (((Hugs)))

      Like

      • Hi Pamela,

        I would love to say that all my writing has a great deal of thought and consideration put into it.

        But, it often doesn’t, which is why I nearly always wait, sometimes for a day or two, before I publish.

        Like you, I often begin with little more than a basic idea and see where it takes me.

        Like

      • Actually, I frequently don’t even have an idea. I often just write the first thing that comes into my head. The opening line, then sit there and wait to see what follows. It is honestly that random. For me, though, it fits with what I want to do, to give the true picture of what I am feeling, thinking and doing. I know it sometimes works better than others, but if I have written the truth for that moment in time, that is what really matters. How else can someone enter my world, if I haven’t opened every part of it, just as it is, warts and all. πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Pamela,

        I think the idea of jotting down that instant of inspiration and letting it mature into a greater thought is marvellous.

        I have tried similar things, in the past. But I find that when I revisit the idea, the canvas is completely blank.

        It is an honour to be permitted to glimpse inside your world.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I just spotted you tried to leave this message twice. I have a filter on, thanks to some unsavoury links, that means no messages appear if they have a link, until I approve them. I deleted the duplicate, sorry for making you write it πŸ™‚

      Like

      • In response to an earlier contributor:-

        Hi Rob McShane,

        Go for it big man. More strength to your shoulder.

        Like you my period with RRMS was volatile and at one stage I was convinced I wouldn’t see my 40th birthday.

        But, with a favourable, following wind I will be 60 in a few years.

        Like

  7. I read your story & was so moved. Your writing is clear, concise & smooth….Your story is moving. Someone once said, “I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw the man who had no feet.” Your story makes my problems seem much less critical. Thank you for telling it. Stay strong and don’t lose sight of your wonderful gift of writing. My thoughts and prayers are with you….

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Thank you fir visiting my site , love how you said from your heart following your journey, totally understand what you mean , I say it as it is , life’s too short to bottle everything up , then the pain and emotions to explode like a wild volcano, take care stay strong , X

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Thank you for the like on my blog! You are a fighter! Stay positive & strong!i look forward to getting to know each other! Ps- ( I’m new to blogging I just realized my comments option was off after looking at your blog) so thank you! Lol now I can get comments too 😊

    Like

    • Welcome to this new addictive world. I thought I’d write once in a blue moon, 4 years on, I have over 1500 posts, so be careful. LOL

      Seriously, it does make a lot of sense to have a look around, it will help you find your own style and what you want to show the world.

      Take care πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  11. My blog gives me a lot of structure as well, although the one you stumbled on is new. I’ve been relying on daily writing for a year–ever since I was diagnosed with cerebellar atrophy–which produces quite a lot of the same symptoms you will have. Nothing gives me better cognitive function, but the calmness does help my epilepsy, and it really helps to put the brain stuff into perspective. I’m glad I found your blog. Thank you for keeping it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I would be totally lost without my blog, like you, I used to write daily, but with the down turn in my health, I have had to reduce that. I’m glad you found me too as the more we find those who share our lifestyles and symptoms, the easier it gets, even if it is just because of those odd things that help us.

      I’m closing everything down for the evening, but I will return the compliment of reading some of your blog tomorrow. Please be warned, I’m not great at leaving comments though.

      Take care (((Hugs)))

      Like

  12. Oh, I should tell you that a doctor encouraged me to write for the sake of what little chance there was of neuroplasticity, and it’s done good things for my balance, which was not supposed to be able to get any better. Really good things.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Hi Pamela. Thanks for following Thirty Summers on Twitter. That’s how I found you. I have Chemical Sensitivities which has turned my life upside so much but I won’t go into that. My blog is designed as a place where I, and I hope others too, can come and escape ordinary. A line that I want to share with you is from Leonard Cohen – ‘There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in’! A follow from me and all power to your positivity! Cheers Saxon πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for stopping by my blog, being positive about life is something that comes naturally to me, despite the horrors that often appear in my blog, I hope that the sunshine element still comes through.

      I just took a look at your blog and I am more than happy to extend my follow to your blog. I write mainly to get the truth out there about life when you have a chronic illness. There are too many false images out there that the truth is hard to find. I hope you stop by and read a few of my posts.

      As you know, I have just followed your blog as it is always good to read posts that make you smile πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for popping over. You should have said. I would have put the kettle on πŸ˜‰ I have already, and certainly will read more here. Information is power and attitude is everything I find. Cheers and nice to have connected!

        Liked by 1 person

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  15. Just came across your blog. Let me know if there is anything medical you need to know as I am trying to bring more awareness about pain (chronic or not) through natural methods (eastern and western philosophies). I am a physical therapist that has worked with MS of varying intensities. I am glad you found me because your blog will help me understand more from the perspectives of the patient.

    Like

    • Thanks for reading. I make a point that everything that I write is the truth about both the physical and mental affects of my health. So yes, you will get an accurate account of my condition, but bear in mind, everyone with MS, will find it different. I hope what you find here helps you and I look forwards to reading more of you blog to. πŸ™‚

      Like

  16. Pingback: Three Days, Three Quotes, Day 2 – marushka's place

  17. I hope this finds you well. My name is Kajal and we are working with a partner who would like to invite you to an event on the 5th of October.If you could please get in touch with the email address provided that would be great.

    thanks
    Kajal

    Like

  18. Hi. If you don’t mind me asking. How did you get your final diagnosis? I’m in the same boat you were. No doctor can find anything wrong with me and my MRI was normal. Yet I still have tremors and pains in strange places and its nearly been two years. The new specialist I’ve seen basically wants to wait and see what happens.

    Like

    • For me, I didn’t have a normal MRI, but no doctor gave me one until 17 years ago. Then they followed it with a Lumbar puncture and it too showed that I MS, my history showed it to be PRMS.

      No doctor put it all together and did what are the basic test for MS, until then. If you have had these test done, I quite honestly don’t know what else they can do, other than wait. Sorry your stuck like this as I know just how difficult it is. Take care and I hope you don’t have to wait too long ((Hugs))

      Like

      • Thanks for answering so quickly. The neurologists thought I had MS as it was on the MRI referral but they never did a lumbar puncture. I’ll ask about it at my next visit and see where it gets me. You put your trust in these doctors and you’d think they’d do all of the tests to be sure. Wishing you a good day πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Sorry for being such a twit. I’ve just read your blog where you explained how you got your diagnosis. Sorry for not engaging my brain before typing. Not having a good day.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Hi! I’m so glad you found my blog because it led me to you. I guess that one of the things I was hoping for when I started this new venture, was exactly this… finding other people that I can relate to and who can also relate to me. Thank you for that. I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts. I’m not only new to blogging/writing, but I’m also new to chronic illness. I’m somewhat of an expert at dealing with mental illness, that is sadly, not at all new to me. My recent diagnoses are RA and Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. I’m also mostly housebound, dependent on my husband or son (and maybe one friend), and losing friends left and right. Thank you again!

    Like

  21. Hi
    i get to your blog from your twitter timeline i like your quotes and posts there.
    death is the Absolute Truth we cant escape from it:
    [ Every soul will have a taste of death, and you will receive your recompense on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever is swayed from the Fire, and admitted to Paradise, has won.
    The life of this world is merely enjoyment of delusion ]
    [ The Quran 3:185 ]
    Faith and Peace
    ο΄Ύ those who have faith and whose hearts find peace in the remembrance of God
    truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace ο΄Ώ
    [ The Holy Quran 13:28 ]
    ο΄Ύ there is forgiveness and a great reward for those who fear their Lord though they cannot see Him ο΄Ώ ( The Qur’an 67:12 )
    lets do good deeds and worship our creator its seems humanity strayed from the path of God to the path of the enjoyment of delusion.
    may God bless you and make you feel better inshallah,God wiling,.Ameen.

    Like

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