How a good idea, goes bad

I don’t know if you have heard of, or if you have ever considered having your medications delivered to you in blister packs. It had been suggested to us by Laurie my social worker when we told her that it was one of the many jobs, that Adam has taken on. I asked him to, when I realised that I was making mistakes, I frequently missed taking one or two different ones, for anything up to a week or longer. I had also been finding dealing with the doctor’s receptionist and even the chemist both difficult and confusing. He has been running thing perfectly, since the chemist, showed they were totally incapable of the simple task of ordering the correct drugs, at the correct time. They had been my first port of call, as I really didn’t want to give more work to him, than needed. No matter what I wanted, Adam took on the whole thing, ordering, storing and dispensing them into small plastic cups for me to take throughout the day.

When we heard that the chemist could split my drugs up, presenting them in time slots for each day, I thought that we had found something that might just work, where my earlier plan had failed to. At this point, we hadn’t seen the pack and to be honest, knew nothing more than the basics. Both of us made an assumption, that we would still order my drugs, the chemist would continue to collect the prescription when we asked them to, then they would make up the packs for the next two months, and simply deliver them all at the same time. Clearly, some drugs couldn’ t be in the pack, some because they are to be taken when needed, others, as they need to be placed in water. In general, we thought it was a good idea.

then yesterday morning, I had a somewhat confusing phone call from the chemist. As expected, the results of my blood test showed that I do require to be on the potassium tablets, they were putting together the prescription as we had requested. Adam had also ordered another drug and on that prescription, it said dispense weekly? It had something to do with the blister system, and I quite simply found myself confused. I didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, so I asked Adam to drop in on his way home and find out exactly, what the blister system entailed.

When he came home, he was armed with one of the blister packs. empty of course. He also had a full picture of how it all worked. Apparently, we would once more be handing the whole thing over to chemist. They would order the drugs as needed, (unlikely), split them into the blisters and deliver one pack every week. Before he told me all of this, I had spotted two huge problems, with the blister pack itself. The pack looks somewhat like a book, when open, it reveals seven rows, of four small square containers, into which my meds are supposed to be placed, then sealed with a paper cover, which you burst to get the pills out. The first problem was clear, the containers would only take a few pills, not anywhere near the number that I take in the morning or in the evening. The second, the container are so small, that I would have great trouble getting them out, without sending them all over the place. I manage already to find myself searching the floor, for pills that I drop. I am quite sure, that I would be doing so daily with those packs.

Then there is the problem of finding the trust, that I don’t have in the chemist to actually get it right. I would be having to put my trust in someone who has already proved, can’t get the ordering part right. On top of all of this, there is the annoyance of having them come to the house once a week to deliver the packs. As it is, they can’t give me even the slightest idea of the time that they will be calling. I find it annoying enough, that they come here more than once every two months. The comings and goings of the district nurses and my carers are annoying enough, and they at least give me a one hour period, within which they will arrive. I frequently don’t answer the door, unless I know someone is due. It is rarely for me and the energy that it takes going back and forward to the hallway, is draining. I would be doing it all day long until they arrived. That kind of agitation in my day isn’t something that I deal well with. I try my hardest to keep my day’s stress-free and although it may sound like nothing to most people, it is enough to both wear me out and leaves me in not the best of moods.

I can see that the packs may work well for some people, but they simply aren’t for me. Adam has equally put the idea down firmly. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in the tone of his voice, even as he was giving me the details of how the system works. At first, I thought that he wasn’t wanting to let go of the job, he truly likes doing things for me and the whole idea of caring for me appeals to him. Almost everytime that I have suggested a way of doing something, so that it wasn’t going to take his time, he has gently fought it. In this case, though, he actually had good points to put forward, as to why it wouldn’t work to our advantage, not just his. It can be a very hard tightrope to walk at times, as he simply doesn’t see that those suggestions are meant in a caring way for him. There will be a time when he will have to care for me, almost constantly, so for now, I want him to have his life, one not totally cluttered by me. Although I know he sees it totally differently.

I know that I have said previously just how difficult it was to accept help from outside carers, to begin with. It has become easier, but I do still find the help that Adam wants to give me, in some ways even harder to accept. It’s not because I don’t want him helping me, it really is because I don’t want to burden him with too much, especially when there is another way. There is so much advice and help out there for family carers, but everyone seems to forget the problems of those being cared for, simply because we care for them. When you are in love with your carer, the difference is huge. I want to care for, protect and do what I see as the best for him, just as much as he wants to do so for me. Most importantly, I want him to have a life outside of me. No, not only his job but a life, a life where he does what he wants without constantly worrying about me. Of all the things I thought my health would bring my way, tightrope walking wasn’t one of them.


Please read my blog from 2 years ago today – 16/09/2014 – Theory is easy

Yesterday seemed to pass without much more trauma or issue, I was sore all day and even sitting was back on my list of things I didn’t want to do but had little choice over. I kept waiting all day for my body to demand that I returned to the loo, but there was nothing but pain and silence. I read through……