I woke this morning at 4:25, I know it’s an ungodly hour to wake but trust me I was really glad that I did. Yes, you have guessed it, after 5 days of struggling with meds, pain and inaction, I eventually went to the loo and for the first time I know that I don’t need any more laxatives tonight. I decided last night that the time had come to take more action and I took 3 tablets instead of the just the 2 that I had taken every night for 3 nights, yes the pain was enough to wake me and yes I am still having mild pains now, but it is so worth it when you think that back on Sunday I thought that going to hospital was the only option. Now all I need to do is sort out a routine that works so that I can avoid this ever happening again. The strange thing is that now I have it fixed, I almost feel like picking up the phone and telling my doctor what has happened and see what he has to say, as I have been telling him now for over 2 years that my bowels were failing and if there was ever proof of that fact, this has to be it. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know this would be seen as yet another reason why I need assistance, beyond just Adam and what I try to do for myself, just to ensure I am not putting myself in danger of all the list of things that I have spoken about before. I know that the health system doesn’t work the way it did in the past and that they don’t have the right to push into your life and take over without your consent, I still fear it, the worst of them being those who used to be called social workers, now they are disguised as liaison worker and a list of other names. I have been a victim of their bully boy antics, they may not have the power these days but they know all too well how to make you feel like a naughty school girl when they start on you.
The health system is one of the things that I find hard to work with, I do as much as I feel that I need to, but I doubt if anyone out there who has to work with them will say anything different. They love to try and force you into what you don’t want and don’t usually even want to try and work with you unless you tow the line. To date I have found that the best way in getting the results you want, is to play their game and at the same time gently sway them into your way of thinking, that is how I landed up with a wonderful doctor who prescribes what I want when I ask for it. I hate to say this as I know a lot of people will jump on me for it, but I swear that part of it is because I have a male doctor. I developed a long time ago a loathing of female doctors, they are the worst people I know for speaking to people in a patronising fashion. Every single one I have ever had the misfortune of having as my doctor has without fail spoken to me with the “I know best, I am a doctor” style. I have also found that they take great pleasure in giving you irrelevant information, like the possible side effects of the Aspirin they want you to take. It could be that I have just been unfortunate, but when you look at the huge number of doctors I have had over the years, for me to not find a single one that didn’t act in that way, says a lot to me. In life in general, it is the other way round, so what the problem with doctors is, I don’t know, but what I do know is that male doctors are far more open when I suggest that we work together on things. They are willing to talk thing through as though we are equals and actually listen to what I have to say. Whether your doctors are male or female and regardless of personal preference, the biggest and most important thing isn’t that they have great qualifications and experience, but that they are open to being equal and open to your suggestions. I would though recommend that you never use the word internet fine to say that you read this thing or that thing, but don’t say it was online as that is a red flag to most. With my GP I took it tiny step by tiny step, in fact, I started long before I had my diagnosis, I had had so many GP’s and consultants over the years that when I found myself in Glasgow and needing a new doctor, I started straight away to develop our relationship for my first visit on. One thing I know many people in the UK have i common is they don’t often realise that if you are not happy with your GP, you can change surgeries, it is within your rights and all you have to do is find the practice you want to be with, and apply to join their list.
Being able to work with your doctor is probably the most important thing there is when your health is gone. I can’t imagine what it would be like to not have not just a GP, but a consultant neurosurgery and a chest consultant all willing to work with me and all on the end of the phone should I need to see or just talk to them. Part of the reason it works is because I don’t take the mickey, I only call when there is an issue I can’t deal with and they know that yes I will try by myself sometimes when I shouldn’t, but I will call when their input is really needed. Getting that balance is hard, but as they say, anything worth having is worth working for and believe me it is worth it.
My day is now going to be a muddle as I did go back to sleep for an hour and then the pain in my stomach started again and despite my attempts to return to sleep, it was just impossible. I did the only thing that made sense and that was to get up and get on with the day, as running back and forward to the loo along with the effort of getting out of bed, was a recipe for disaster. It has just gone 7 am and I am already sure that I will be back in bed within the next hour or so, not the smoothest most organised of days which always results with some kind of kick back in the next 48 hours. Mind you it has meant that I have been able to watch the results of the Scottish referendum and this is the first and only time I have or will mention it, as it brought the result that I voted for a couple of weeks ago, so if as they say things happen in three’s, what is the next good thing that today will hold, maybe I should buy a lottery ticket.
Please read my blog from 2 years ago today – 20/09/12 – One day on. the Reflex
I was going to answer the individual comments but I realised to do that would remove much of what I had planned to write today. Yesterday massage looking back on it was really great when it came to two hours spent with an interesting and friendly person who understood from her work what it is like……