Help others to help you

August has almost gone, it doesn’t seem that being housebound makes time pass any slower, I kind of thought that it would, I imagined it was going to be like one of those never-ending weekends when I was a kid, not allowed out as the weather was bad and nothing to do that I wanted to inside. I have heard so many people saying that when they were children that the summer lasted forever and how they hated the last week as it was all about going back to school, it has always made me feel somewhat strange as the last summer I remember like that was when I was 9, after that yes the lasted forever, but only because I was so bored and I couldn’t wait to get back to school. I suppose time is as they say relevant to your age and what you are doing at the time, therefore I am about 7 years old and as happy as a lark, or just odd, yet again. September heralds the start of my 4th year without working, my 4th year of having to fill my time totally by myself and to be the only person responsible for keeping me inspired, achieving and feeling part of something, not always as easy as it might sound, but the core of what makes the difference between life becoming a trial or life being happy. It doesn’t matter if you like your job or not, it supplies you with far more than just than the thing everyone says they are there for, the money. I have always said that winning the lottery and giving up work would in fact for most people, not the joy they think it would be. The reason, simple, without work what do you do once you have taken those dream holidays, bought houses and cars, eaten at all the best restaurants and set your family up to be comfortable for life, what next? Just like those never ending summer holidays that I wanted to end, I have no doubt that regardless of the money, most would land up working somehow, be it in their own company or in a voluntary capacity, because work gives us so much more than just money.

Writing this reminded me of a post I wrote back in 2012 “Seven Stops”, I just re-read it and I still believe that it is the way to keep yourself going and to replace much that is missing when work vanishes on us. It is strange how deeply the work ethic can be etched into us, by either our upbringing or out of our own discoveries, even now I know that if I were to win that lottery, I would probably be looking for a way to set up a company of some sort that I could run from right here, as I still have that desire to do something more. I also know that it would be something to do with helping people adjust to a new life when their lives are turned upside down by their health. I never once in my life saw myself as someone who went out of my way to help others, I missed something there, as believe me there is a huge joy in knowing you have done something to help another, or even just to have made them smile that day. I honestly wish that I had somehow been taught this when I was younger, I did find it out slightly as I used to do a lot for charities when I was still in my first marriage, Navy life made work difficult to impossible, but charities always need funds and I was good at raising them, then I was doing it with a large dose of my own reasons, my sanity and being with others, two of the same reason we work. I never saw those I raised the money for, I never saw the most important part, what the money did. Yes, I have bought a burger and a drink for someone begging on our streets and I have been into OAP homes and sat and chatted to people I didn’t know who just needed to talk, as they had no visitors, but I never did enough.

There is something very wrong in this world in that we have somehow told ourselves that throwing money at a situation is the answer, we have done our bit because we have reached into our pockets. I find it somehow ironic that I had to become ill before I found out what it means to truly help someone and that money didn’t have to be in that equation at all. Oddly I actually think that a lot of people who can’t work anymore because of their health could actually turn into the saviour of those who are worse off than they are health wise. It could so easily be achieved that it is almost astounding that it isn’t done already, but yet again it probably hasn’t happened because so many people seem to think their lives are over just because they can’t do what they once did. I to found myself when first ill, going along to different organisations who worked with the disabled, I was incredibly looking for their help, when in fact, I was still actually quite fit, yes I was in a wheelchair and yes I had problems with my speech and memory, along with the normal array of problems that MS cause, but I was still out and about, I was still working and capable of daily life on the outside, but I wanted help and that was all I saw. Like the majority of the world, I fell into being the person I least like, the person who is totally me, me and then again me. I needed help, I admit that, but I could have gone to see them not just asking for help, but offering them my spare time in return. I can’t get out of here now, I no longer ask for help as in truth there is little I need, I am happy and I have a good life. I have worked on building that life, putting together something that works for me and I know could work for so many others as well, all they have to do is think about it, work on it and live it. I work every day on making others lives better along with my own, all it took was a little thought, as caring is a universal need and one that heals in both directions. I have discovered my niche, able-bodied or disabled everyone needs someone to brighten their day, make them feel better and able to pass on that feeling. As I said, it is a universal need, if you need help and to be cared for, caring for someone else might just be the answer.


Please read my blog from 2 years ago today – 31/08/12 – Learning into the Future 

I have just returned from the Hospital, well not just I have been here for about an hour but I felt so sick when I got back into the house that I have been sat here sort of starring at the screen moving things around. The alarm got me up at 6am as planned and I managed over the next hour and a half to get myself ready to be collected. By the time the ambulance actually arrived I was slightly……