A few weeks ago, someone, I knew from twitter asked if I would be interested in their own personal work they were doing on curing different illnesses, it is usually the type of question that I would straight away thank them for thinking of me, but no thank you. Why I said that I would be interested in reading their suggestions I don’t know, but I gave them one of my email addresses and waited to see what arrived. I had made them a promise not to discuss the details and as I don’t break promises I won’t be giving you the details here or anywhere else, but I felt I had to write something about it as I found myself just a little worried not by what they suggested, but by how many others out there who might be drawn into taking part in something similar.
As I said I don’t normally even agree to read this type of material and it has taken me all this time to admit I read it because I had fallen into the need to try something, anything that might make me feel better, even if it was only for a short time. Me, the person who has written and written about how I feel about different sorts of treatments, how I had chosen to put my faith in the medical profession rather than the alternative therapists, was suddenly without thought reaching out with a touch of desperation, a tough of hope and a big dollop of hope. For the first time since I was diagnosed, somewhere in my head a need to do something, to try something had been born. I have until now never understood how someone would be prepared to spend fortunes they most often don’t have, taking quack therapies that have been proved time and time again just don’t work. I think there is a point when you are ill that isn’t the desperation I thought it was, but more a need for something to change, to slow down what is happening to me and to have just that bit more health, that bit more energy and life. I still have total faith in my doctors and I still believe that if anyone is going to ever cure MS, it will be those who are working methodically through the scientific process, but that little seed wanted me to read and I did.
Not to my surprise what I read didn’t hold anything in it that I felt would help me, it did contain some of what I have said over and over that you need to rest, you need to be happy and that you need to be with those you love, but there were diet supplement mostly that I could see no danger in, but I could equally see no good in along with a couple that I thought might in time do harm. I have to say at this point the person who sent me the email did so in good faith, there was no mention of money or purchasing anything through them, just advice, advice I have clearly decided not to take. Unfortunately the majority of those out there who claim to have a cure, also now have really well-filled bank accounts, nice houses, and cars, without the slightest sign of guilt. I have lost count of the number of email, messages, and tweets I have had from people in that group, all making promises and all offering me some product or other to buy through them. Although I am always polite, I always send them away making it clear that I have no personal interest in their systems and medications. My faith is placed totally in the scientific community, in what they have managed to do to help and what they are working on now. I personally feel that if anyone is ever going to be able to help me it will be them and them alone.
It has taken a very long time for me to reach a point where I can say I now understand slightly those who grasp at straws and even in some cases put their very lives at risk in the quest for a cure. I know totally what my future holds for me and it is not pretty, but how no matter how bad it ever gets, I can see no reason that I would make me ever reach out to these people who simply don’t care about anyone other than their selves. I think the difference between myself and those who will try anything no matter how idiotic it might be, is quite simply that I am at peace with what is happening to me. I don’t want to die, no one does, but it is something that is ahead of all of us and being at peace with that, I believe makes all the difference as to how you deal with your illness. I have chosen to live my life as well as I can and as happily as I can within the restraints laid down by my health, I have accepted that there is little anyone can do and as long as the pain levels are held at a point where I can still cope with life, well I will remain happy. I know I still have a long way to go, it may be slow and take several years, or it could all speed up and just take months, either way, I want to live it, not spend it filled with thing that will only make me worse, or empty my bank account, meaning more stress and less comfort for whatever time I have.
In all honesty, I don’t think there is a lower form of life than those who prey on the sick and dying, whether that is just on equipment that might or might not help, or on treatment that never help. If what they all promised was true, well there would be no need for doctors, no need for medical research, as everything would already be cured and all of us would be healthy and alive forever. People who sell dreams, to people who need them more than anyone else are worse than vultures, vultures at least wait for their prey to die before ripping them to bits.
Please read my blog from 2 years ago today – 13/05/12 – Falling over
You know that falling over thingy, that second in time when a small particle of dust jumps up in front of you and lands a sucker punch. The specialty trick of MS and other illnesses that have Occupational Therapists walking around your house, sucking in breathe, wincing and tutting at everything, and picturing in their minds removing everything and transforming your home into a safe hospital, yeah, that falling over thingy. Well, I haven’t really spoken that much about it I know, from time to……