The phone just rang and when I answered I nearly hang up as it was one of those automated system, but when it actually said my name, I listened further. It has to be the first time I have ever been called to confirm that I would be attending an appointment at the hospital, I’m not going to this one as it happens and I had actually thought it to be cancelled already. After the specialist received the results of both my endoscopes they wrote saying that they were signing me off and returning me to my GP’s care, I there for thought that the previously arranged appointment for this month cancelled already. With the cause of the pain and discomfort now known and confirmed as coming from my diaphragm and lungs, there is little point to return to see the people at gastro, especially as they have already said they will do nothing about my gallstones, which seems to be the only pain source that is connected to their department. One less trip out, especially when there is no reason to be out, is something I am glad of, so I cancelled the appointment. I have to say the fact that there was a call thought actually impressed me, as could this actually be the first signs that the NHS is becoming organised, well it is at the very least a step in the right direction.
I would hate to try and work out the number of hours I have spent sitting around in hospitals waiting rooms or actually as an inpatient. I know I have had more than my fair share of the NHS budget, but if they hadn’t got so many thing so wrong, I wouldn’t have had to keep going back again and again. I saw on TV the other day one of those ads that encourages people to clam compensation for medical errors, I have never been one of those people who ever thought of it at the time it could be claimed, mind you it wasn’t until recently that even the word compensation was heard in everyday conversation. I suppose that part of it though was that I wasn’t brought up to think that way. Accidents happen as do mistakes and things just simply go wrong, but to sue doctors for doing what they intended to be for the best, well is anyone really to blame if it didn’t work out that way. We aren’t like machines, you can’t just select the right piece of a shelf and switch them over, expecting that everything will work perfectly from then on. I don’t think compensation really is something that should be claimed just because you can, yes if it means your income has been effected and all the bills you would have paid, can’t be, then yes I see the point. Just as I do when someone is left needing adaptations to their homes and needs care, again because these things cost, there may be no option other than to claim compensation. What I can’t understand are those who claim money, just because they can. Money I suppose is always going to be a driving force that humans by nature can’t resist when it is dangled in front of their eyes, but ask for a better NHS, then sue them, reducing their much needed funds, just makes no sense at all to me.
I suspect that most people in this world who are ill, yes want to be cured, but more than that just simply don’t want to be in pain. I know from my own experience that being free of pain means more to me than anything else, even more than the length of my life. I hear it more and more, just take the pain away and let me be, there seems though to be some strange reluctance to give those who need it the level of drugs that will let them be pain free. I have little doubt that truth be told, many will agree with me in accepting freely the lose of a handful of years, just to have a handful pain free. I don’t expect to be cured of anything, I don’t have my head filled with the myths of maybe tomorrow, or next week, or next year, I just accept where I am and what they can do and they can’t do miracles, so I won’t be suing them anytime soon because they can’t cure me.
I wish I could put my finger on what changed in the world from when I was born in 1961 to now. Somewhere in those years we changed our expectation of life and what it should be like, what we should get from it and how we should live. I saw something on TV a couple of months ago that said that the items you own these days had to include a mobile phone, otherwise you are living in poverty. I have to admit that I laughed as I can remember my own personal excitement when in 1982 I got a phone in my home, the joy of having to no longer trail with two kids to a phone-box. My expectations are still set somewhere back in those years when we were responsible for ourselves, what happened to us was because we did something, not someone else. I became ill, they have helped me as far as they can, and I am still responsible for me. Maybe one day I will wake up in a world that I truly recognise, but I doubt it as money is still king in this upside down world.