Now full of wedding cake life is settling back into normality, the proof? Adam is snoring on the settee! lol I have to say that last night after they left I was so exhaustive, I sat sort of not really with it or with anything else either! being in that sort of limbo land is somewhere everyone knows well as it is the point we go through as we fall asleep, I seem to have learned how to go to that point even when I am sat talking or watching TV, to be honest I am three quarters of the way there at the minute. This is the exact feeling that puts me off raising my morphine right now, if I was on a higher dose I would be in my bed not caring about anything. With the clocks now taking us in to so called British Summer Time, we did have a shorter night than usual but I also slept earlier than normal so the blame doesn’t lie there at all, this is just the whipped out me.
I have being reading back over the last couple of months, something I don’t do that often as I don’t like being influenced by what I have said about anything in the past, but I really needed to check something, well it is a good record when it comes to symptoms. What I wanted to check was actually how much I was sleeping now compared to a few months ago, I had this feeling that I had written a lot about it and I have. Sleep has been very much a solid core of my life recently, something that is taking over the majority of my life. Although sleeping is an escape, I don’t want to sleep the rest of my life, I want to have time enough to live as well. Finding a life balance has always been one of those things that is really important to me, just as I don’t want to be dominated by pain and I take the medications to keep that pain at a livable level, I don’t want the hours I sleep to mean I have no time to be part of the world. How I can manage this one is going to be difficult as staying up and forcing myself not to sleep when I need it, isn’t really an option.
Several years ago my MS specialist put me on to Modafinil, it is really legalalised “Speed” but you don’t snort it, it’s in tablet form. Modafinil is used for the treatment of narcolepsy, at first I found it a great help, but as the months went on, well I think I quickly became used to it and I even manage to go to sleep and sleep for 3 hours, having taken my medication an hour before. They increased the dose and again it helped for a while, then I got used to it and I decided to stop taking it as I felt as though I was filling myself with more drugs that were just floating around my system for no reason. I was surprised when I did stop I felt absolutely no different than when I was taking it, it was almost as thought I wasn’t really absorbing it all. Just surprisingly there was no withdrawal symptoms either, I had expected something, but no. I have checked on line and it seems to be the only medication of that form used with MS, and I do remember asking at the time if there was another drug I could use, to which the answer was no.
I would be interested if anyone reading this has had similar problems and if you have had a positive result with an other drug or even routine that helped with managing the problem, I really don’t want to sleep any more than the 13 hours I already do. So please let me know!