I forgot to say yesterday that I was at the hospital this morning, so everything is out of sink with my normal routine. I had to go back and see the Gastro brigade, as I already knew they are saying it is all down to my MS, but they now want to do further tests. I have to have another endoscope this time from my mouth down, when I had the last one I said to Adam that it seemed strange that it was a colon only as the worst of the discomfort was at the top end of my abdomen rather than lower down. They also are insisting that I have to see a physio therapist so at least 3 more hospital visits as they also want to see me in 6 months. I got up this morning telling myself that this would be my last trip out and that I would get the hospital out of my life again as it has been for years, once again I was wrong and my life is still in their hands and at their call. Yes I am a little pissed off by it, as they have said clearly to both me and Adam that there really isn’t anything they can do, but they have a need to tinker around, expecting to find nothing and to be able to do nothing, but they have me in their system so they do it.

Once again they weighed me and although I knew my weight had gone down, I was surprised to see that I have lost another 6 kilos, although the doctor didn’t mention it, but I can only see this as further evidence that I am not absorbing all I eat, I did mention in passing that things have passed through me as they entered and occasionally bring back undigested food, but he went past that as fast as I did. Adam again asked about my gallstones and again we were told that they don’t think there is anything to be achieved by removing them.

I am again wiped out by my morning trip and angry as I am so far our of line with my normal day and for what? No matter how often they take me out and bring me back on the horrid stair walker thing makes me feel sick for hours. I tried this morning not having breakfast as I though that might help. I don’t think it made any difference at all but it was worth a shot. It was actually a good thing I didn’t as although yet again I had been told they wouldn’t be here before 10am, they were here just before 9, so it I had made my breakfast, I would have been eating my porridge and wouldn’t have had time to finish it. We were once again left sitting for ages waiting for the ambulance to bring me home, making it back here for just after 12. The getting back and forward to the hospital really is an ordeal that when you simply talk to the doctor, with no examination, as I said a few days ago this could have all been done on the phone, one day maybe, but I doubt their systems will ever advance in time to be of use to me. Hospitals seem to take for ever to adapt to new thinking and for now, it is a step too far for them to realise everyone has a phone these days. My energy is now close to zero so I guess I have to head to bed and get the sleep I need.