Every step of living this housebound life has seemed easier than I had expected, I’m not sure what I thought would happen or how my life would turn out, but I never thought that I would be as content in my life as I am. So when the Dr on Friday started reeling of the list of things he thought might be of help, as they couldn’t do anything about my pain, all things tried years ago, I was once again angry to hear him suggest a shrink or a councilor. I ignored it totally on the surface when he said it, but I felt my hackles rise, please will someone tell my why I would need such a person and what gives anyone the right after talking for less than 15 minutes, to make such a ridicules suggestion.
I am very aware of that all to often people with chronic illnesses and even more so people who are housebound suffer from depression, but it is not something that has even touched me in the last 10yrs. I find it impossible to believe that I am the only person who is content to live their lives as they are, even when that is a million miles out of the normal pattern of life. I have often thought about this as this is far from the first time that it has been suggested and all I have ever been able to conclude is that those who say it, or think it, just don’t believe they could be happy, therefore no one else could possibly be so. This is why I often wish I could get those medics dealing with me, took the time to not read all of my blog but to check out different bits and pieces, I don’t think it would take them long to see that I am not depressed and I don’t complain unless I have a justified reason. I am not the type of person, like my Mother who has apparently been dieing since her 50th birthday, 35 years ago and pesters doctors with demands that just have no medical grounding behind them. If they read a little, I would expect them to find what I feel I am, a content person living a happy life, apart from one thing all the pain I have to live with and could do without.
I am sure there are many out there who do need help to adjust into what I know can be a scarey life, but no matter how much I look inside myself I can’t find that person anywhere, not even in the darkest point I remember. Even then I had more hope than I needed to get through it, I am a person who works through things myself better than with so called help. I have come across many who are so deeply depressed that they worry me intensely, I find myself thinking about them long after I spoke to them, I know all to well that those people are out there. I wish that I could help them to find the happiness that I know is possible, and my heart goes out to them as I have been there many years ago, but not because of being ill or housebound.
I doubt that the doctor was really saying that I need to see someone, more that it was on his lists of suggestions that I guess he knew all to well would be of no use at all. I suppose doctors also grasp at straws when it comes to helping their patients, especially when they are sending them away with less than they had arrived with, but I also wish they would look at and understand just a little more about the person they are talking to, hard in the time that they have but in the long run it could save the NHS a great deal of money. If I had been my mother I would now be waiting for 4 or 5 more appointments with others specializing in other area’s of health care, not one of the needed or able to help.