Racing time

Good morning world! It’s Sunday again and for once I am listening to the TV not snoring as Adam is actually asleep in bed not on the settee. There has been no change in my chest, just as clogged up as it has been for the past few days, I have to say that my suspicions about my meds seems to be accurate, I have no chest pain or sore throat as I always remember having in the past so I am at least grateful for that if nothing else, plus I have in the past few days gently moved the time I take my meds in the evening back bit by bit and I do feel better in the mornings. I guess I was right that they are waring off faster than they used too. I remember clearly being able to go 14hrs from one dose to the next but that isn’t happening any longer it is a much tighter window. I will have to phone the ambulance service again on Monday, I hadn’t realised until last night how fast this month was passing me by, I have an appointment at the pain clinic on 20th which I thought was still weeks away then I realised last night that Christmas was days away not weeks. I have a pile of forms to fill in for them as well, so I will have to get on with that rather than just leaving them sitting on my desk with things on top of them. A year ago I would have gone mad at the mess I now put up with on top of my desk, I’m not sure what I thought might happen by ignoring it, but it didn’t go away that is for sure.

I am still in two minds about this pain clinic thing, I have heard so many negative reports as to what they can do to help and I have no idea short of more meds how they think they are going to change things for me. I have no faith in any therapy or relaxation systems, over the years when I had no diagnosis, I tried a lot of things and not one of them helped in the slightest. I am only going because the nurse said one thing that clicked and made me think it was a good idea and that is that most GP’s are reluctant to prescribe strong meds, but if a consultant prescribes they will go ahead with it. I am hoping as well that they may actually know of other meds that may be my GP isn’t so aware of as he doesn’t really deal with MS, fibro and so on that often. I don’t want to be drugged up with meds that make me fuzzy or make me sleep all the time but I do want to be able to live without pain beyond reasonable. It’s a little odd to measure that for someone who doesn’t live with constant pain, but there are levels that are livable, as I am under no illusion that I will ever be totally free of it, the damage done is too vast for that, just better relief is what am really looking for.

Teressa has now changed here wedding date from January to March, I wasn’t that surprised that they had to move it as no Government department moves that fast. Jon is still waiting for the immigration dep to OK his fiance visa, although both of them are still hoping that he will be here for January, it was more that they realised that with people coming here from all round the world, who have to arrange travel and accommodation that it was all getting too close with no guarantees. I already have 2 wedding invitations from them so I expect this will mean a third to follow soon. Luckily when Teressa booked everything she was very upfront about that the date may need to be flexible so none are charging her any more than she has already paid. It may not all be going to the plan that they dreamed would just open out perfectly but it proves I would think to the departments concerned that they are seriously in love and not just trying to get him into the country. From what Teressa has said to me there is even a chance now that he could have a job at Sega UK, completing the circle as it was at Sega US that they met originally. I still haven’t really settled in my mind that she is now living here in the UK again as she has lived abroad for so long it just seemed the natural place for her to be. When ever she phones I have that flash of what on earth is this costing, as she calls on her mobile and then I remember again that she is in London, just a few miles away compared from the thousands that used to be between us. She is hoping to come to Glasgow in January this time with Jon, so that she can introduce him to everyone, it will be a really strange thing for me as I have never in her entire life met any of her boyfriends, nor did I ever meet her first husband. I hope this visit happens when she has it in her mind to be but we will see, I have though totally come to terms with not being at her wedding, as much as I would like to, it is just all too much.