The visit

Good morning world! don’t know why just felt like saying that. I am sat here at 9:30 in the morning all sorted for the day, hair done and everything, why? Simple, Teressa is on her way to spend the day with me. I haven’t seen her for two years, something that should change now that she is in the UK to stay but with all her settling into a new job, new city, new flat and organising a wedding she really hasn’t had a chance to take a long weekend and make the journey north. Today as you might be able to guess is going to be a day of silly girly talk and mother, daughter banter. I have often thought that calling myself a Mum really isn’t right as I have actually spent so little of her life with her, with her father taking her to New Zealand when she was 12 my Mother roll ended, it took me two years to find her, but even then such a long distance relationship has been difficult. It is only when I sit listening to my voice coming out of her mouth, that the similarities and my contribution to a wonderfully daughter is clear to me.

One of the things I really need to discuss with her today is the reasons she wanted so badly to return to the UK, I have been worrying probably wrongly, that she is back as she is worried by the distance between us due to my health. If she answers that it is homesickness for all her family in the UK then I will be content. I have this horrid niggle about her reasons and I really hope that I am wrong, I would hate to think that she through away her life in America just for me, as I have said to her many times, I am a big girl and I can look after myself, probably not totally true these days but true enough. I don’t know why but I have always had a problem with people doing anything on my accord, that includes everything that Adam now does for me, my independent streak is more than a mile wide and always has been. I have accepted now that Adam does what he does because he loves me and is happy to take over now I am not able myself, but it isn’t always easy to watch him doing the housework, something he has done piles of in the last few days, not because I asked him to but I think because he knows that if I was able bodied I would have done the same before she came to visit. I seem to find it harder to think that Teressa would be doing the same as I have never asked anything of her because I wanted her to have her life not mine.

I am going to keep this short today as I still have a couple of things I want to try and do, well it’s my place to add the final small things that will make me and her I hope, happy to be here. I expect tomorrows post will be a long one with lots of things to tell you. For today I have upped my painkillers so that I have enough peace to enjoy my day with her and by playing with another one that will hopefully keep me awake through out the whole day as well. This day has been long looked forward to and I want to enjoy all of it.