I didn’t tell Adam before he went to work this morning but I am really struggling today. There is always the danger that when something else is wrong, that MS goes into a flare, I am not sure if that is what is happening yet as it takes time to know. Flares always heighten some existing symptom on top of just being ill. The problem with having another illness or just a bug, is of course the immune system being activated. MS is your own immune system attacking you, having it activated to fight something else, means it’s normal attack rate is heightened, so staying well is more important for anyone with an autoimmune illness. What I know at the minute is I am ill and I want to go to bed and lie there, I think I have a slight temperature, but it is the feeling of wanting to be sick and just a general not well condition. I also know I need to sleep more another sign of something wrong, the past two days I have slept the full 2hrs in the afternoon being woken by the alarm and in bed exhausted by 10 having struggled to stay awake that long, sleeping again until the alarm tells me to get up.
Normally in the morning I would just have a slice of bread with my coffee and meds but today I treated myself to blackened toast and marmalade, not everyone’s choice I know, but I just love my toast burnt, so it wasn’t one of my many cooking accidents. I always find myself having treats when I feel bad, they never make me feel better but there is always the hope. I have always believed that your body tells you when there is something wrong what to eat to make it better, the burnt toast will of course add charcoal into my stomach and it is known to help settle a bad stomach, so it would explain why I wanted to eat that today, although I am not sure what the effects of the marmalade are other than a great taste combination. Unfortunately neither the charcoal or the medicine I have to stop me feeling sick are working or it could be the old problem they are working and without them I would be feeling even worse. On the good side I have just had a phone call from the MS nurse wanting to come out and see me for my annual check up and she is going to be here on Thursday, so by then I hope to have a better idea of what is going on. I can’t help thinking that this is my gallstones as I have felt like this a lot in the last few months but not as badly, when you have a many things wrong with you as I do, the big problem always is separating out what is causing what and is it something new or different.
Having been locked inside my home for so long I haven’t had even a cold for years, and luckily Adam hasn’t brought home any bugs from work, he is in general normally a person who doesn’t get things that are going around. I was worried when I went out to the hospital twice in the last few weeks that I might come down with at least a cold, I never had to spend any length of time near people, so luck was on my side. I often think that being housebound has actually kept me in better health than if I was still spending many hours in the outer world surrounded by flues, bugs and colds. I used to have bronchitis every winter and it was bad enough to be listed as chronic, I haven’t had a single attack since being housebound, on it’s own that is a huge plus as I frequently would be bad enough to land me up at the hospital for treatments to allow me to breath. It is a little strange to think that a side effect of one chronic illness has been to totally cure another, I suppose no matter how small, a plus is a plus and I am grateful for that.