I am a lot brighter today, as I thought it was just one of those days and there was no escaping it, I just had to get through it. Days like that happen to all of us, and I am lucky that they really don’t happen that often. I am not sure how or why but I really do get less of them now than I used to, some might want to put that down to the constant flow of antidepressants but I am not so sure. I think yesterday was really about trying to get my head round the new addition, especially as until I talk to the specialist I won’t have a clear explanation of what is really happening. It is always easy to say don’t think about it, but as we all know the more you try not to think about something the more you actually do think about it.

I have a therapist coming tomorrow, Adams mother goes to yoga and through talking to the class teacher they arranged for me to see a woman who works with other people with multiple chronic conditions. Although she will be here in the morning I still can’t make up my mind as to what help she will be, it is hard for me to see how she will help me as massage is her specialist area and I already know without trying that pressing areas that hurt makes them hurt more, I can’t find anything in me that sees how that will improve anything. I went to some alternative therapies before I know it was MS in a hope to find relief from all the different symptoms I had and all they ever managed to do was make things worse. I am trying to keep an open mind but it isn’t that easy. She is due here at 10 am tomorrow so I will be a little behind with everything I normally do each day as I expect she will be here for at least an hour.

I am hoping that she will be able to help with my legs they are still the worst part of everything. Adam did some housework in the living room yesterday with the results that I had to walk round the room today repositioning all the ornaments. Just the act of doing this with the small amount of bending and remaining bent for a few seconds, has left them aching and fatigued muscles. Activity levels is now zero for awhile while they are recovering, in other words once again having to put sitting pressure on my pelvis so my legs can rest. Oh the fun of doing nothing. lol.

Once again I have spent all morning stopping to dial the number for the OT service but at always all I ever get is the engaged tone. I really don’t know how you are meant to get hold of these people as not once have I heard anything else but engaged. The letter I have doesn’t even have an email address so that you can contact them that way and writing a letter seems ridicules these days, you know I can’t actually remember the last time I wrote to anyone, yes sign things and post it back but actually sit and write something then put it in an envelope with a stamp on it, I have no idea at all. Strange but I use to write letters all the time and it is now something that nearly no one even thinks of doing, I suppose that it is yet another of one of those thing that has disappeared into the past to be lost for ever.