I have always been of the nature were I put others before myself and don’t shout about doing so normally, but I have brought it up today as I have come up with another of my theories. It wasn’t through thinking about illness that brought me to start thinking not was it something I set out to do, it was simply a train of thought that appeared and continued, I’ve always had one of those annoying brains that can’t think of nothing, nor does it like to be doing just one thing, this all started while watching ‘Silent Witness’ last night and as you will see it has little to do with the program.
There is a section of people who no matter what is around them or what their upbringing, education or circumstances, find themselves unable to ignore the plight of others. People who will always put others first, I remember years ago seeing in the distance a man lying with his head and shoulders in the road, cars were actually driving round him, but not one stopped to see if he was OK. I ran, as I could back then, to get to him and I stepped into the road, where the traffic was to ensure he wasn’t hit. It was clear when I was closer that he was a vagrant, but he was also a human, almost at the same time as I got there, the police turned up so someone had phoned them, but none had stopped. I know that if the police hadn’t arrived I would have stopped a car to get help for him, as I didn’t have a mobile, I would have stayed until an Ambulance arrived and I wouldn’t have called the police, drunk or not, he was hurt. At that moment he was more important than me, but that is me and I can’t switch that bit off, just as many others can’t. I have always found myself putting others stranger, friend or family ahead of myself, and I am glad I am that type. I can’t count how often I have feed others and gone hungry myself, or bought present that meant I couldn’t heat my home, there was a choice, money only goes so far.
I don’t normally like talking about this side of me as I have never wanted praise or thanks for it, but I mention it now as I said their is one of my theories here. I am wondering if those who take chronic illness in their strides may-be the same as me in this respect. For many years before I could physically no longer deal with it, I always did everything in the house when it came to cleaning and cooking and I went further than most as I wanted to create the perfect world for those I loved. No matter how I felt, their needs came first, so I had to get on with it. Now I can’t actually do a lot of things so I try not to complain about how I feel, as they don’t need to hear it, and I don’t want to distress them, not because I am an exceptional person, but because I have an instinct to protect others. My appearance of being a positive person and dealing well with my illness is right to a point, but I think it is my nature, not my illness, that is in control. There lies my new theory, those who deal well with chronic illness are by nature people who, like me, put others first and see our problem as ours.