Listening but unable to oblige

Late yesterday Adam discovered we had had some mail in the morning and there was a letter for me, it was from the hospital and it was a letter which I have never seen the like of before, nor has Adam and he works in the record department. The letter said they had written to me to arrange an appointment and that this was my final chance to contact them regarding the appointment they had arranged for me. I have had no letter from anyone as you all know, on top of that it is from the hospital I asked not to go to. If I believe it, it sounds as though there is supposed to be a letter that has gone missing. Neither of us actually believe it, so Adam is going to do something a little sneaky, he is gong to phone then on Monday on my behalf not really telling a lie, he is just leaving out the part that he is my husband, he is simply going to say who he is as far as his job title, to see what they say. I really can’t believe the mess and the problems of getting what should be simple hospital appointment.

During the day my arm remained more than annoying but late on last night I found myself sitting on the settee in floods of tears due to my left arm, the sensation had increased as the day went on, I still could call it pain but I had lost all ability to find any position where I wasn’t being driven mad by it. When it became really intense I had this feeling that I had to squeeze it tightly, but my hands weren’t big enough and I wanted the pressure in two different places. I remembered there was a ‘tubie-grip’ bandage normally used for sprains in the medical cabinet, so I put that on over a 10 inch area with my elbow in the middle and grasped my wrist as tight as I could and it helped. Slowly over the next hour it lessened enough for me to go to bed, I had had a couple of extra Gins last night as well because of it, and the combination of that and the bandage I slept. I woke this morning to be still very aware of it but once again at a level that I could bare it, I took the bandage off, but within 10 mins it was back on. I really don’t understand this or why it wants pressure or how it is helping, this is really a new one on me. I don’t need to be a Doctor to know that something is happening to the nerves in my entire arm but what to do to relieve it and make life easier I an at a lose. Any suggestions welcome!

I have to say it has made me wonder if I bought some pressure stockings if they might help with some of the pain in my legs, it might also help with the fluid retention. This morning I have found one of my left wrist braces, Typing with it on is not easy, so I am going to try and wear it when I am not typing long sections like this, to see if that will ease it a little. I have this silly image of slowly covering myself with bandages and splints just to be able to sit on a chair. All though the bandage and brace are helping, my left hand over the past couple of days has been going down hill rapidly, what ever is happening in my arm I would say is a side effect or a part of my hand once again returning to useless, it has been slowly weakening over the last couple of months and having lost it before so I recognise some of the symptoms. Last night at one point although I could move it and it was work, I found myself guarding it and not wanting to use it, I actually found myself at one point standing in the kitchen trying to pour a Gin and Tonic with one hand again, I haven’t had to do that one for several years. There is the constant feeling that it doesn’t want to work it’s a little odd, but it is heavy and just like it needs this pressure it is also asking not to do anything. I always listen to my body but it is asking what isn’t really a possibility that I can oblige, two hands in general are needed, especially when so much else of my body doesn’t work either.