I suspect that all of us have had those moments when it is as though you have woken up and you are seeing things for the first time. Suddenly when you look round you, you are seeing for the first time just how beautiful your home is. OK you know you have seen it every day, but this time it is different, it is more colourful, more beautiful and more inspiring than it was the day before. I know I am not the only one this happens to, as I have spoken about it to others before and it really is a wonderful feeling, as you are seeing things and appreciating with new eyes. Somehow those new eyes see only the wonderful things and manage to skip over the dust or the fine crack in the plaster that should have been fixed years ago. I have also had those days when I realise just how lucky I am and how good my life really is.
I know many people who seem to think that my life has been hard and that this point in my life is terrible, but even on my bad days I don’t see it that way, on my best days I see myself as tremendously blessed. I find it hard to understand why so many can’t see that living in the limited fashion as I do is actually a good and happy place to be. It’s hard to explain to someone who has the fixed idea that you have to go on holidays, go to the cinema, nice restaurants, have a car and attend every social event possible. I admit it takes a mind shift, a jump in expectations and priorities, but it isn’t that difficult.
I was luck, really luck that I slowly became housebound, the adjustment period was spread over 3 or 4 years, and I am sure that that is why I found it easy. If over a period of time, one by one the activities you enjoy become impossible, then you are only loosing one thing, not everything. If I had woken up one day and found I could no longer leave the house I think it would have been very different, I am still sure though, that I would have adjusted and managed to get to where I am now. I don’t need that waking-up and seeing things through new eyes to see my life everyday as good. My life is yes filled with physical pain, difficulties of being able to do things for myself, loosing slowly bit by bit my memories, my dexterity and my concentration. Each day there is a step down, some big and some small, but my list of blessing starts now with having someone who I love and ultimately it will end with someone who loves me. What more could anyone need 🙂