The man I love.

Yesterday I hinted through my pain, which is still there but a lot better, that this week contained a couple of celebrations, today is the date of both of them. The first is Adam’s birthday and the second is our wedding anniversary. Adam and I met in May 1998, well actually that is a lie, we actually met for the very first time about a year before that. I had just recently left my job at BT to move to another sales job at ICS. Most days when I finished work I would go to the ‘Solid Rock’ pub for a pint before crossing the bridge out of the city to home. The pub being on the way home always made this a tempting stop over. I had just arrived there one evening when a girl I had worked with at BT and who I have to be honest, I didn’t really remember that well, came up to me as if I was a long lost friend and insisted on introducing her boyfriend Adam. It was one of those moments which I am sure has happened to nearly everybody at least once in their lives, there was a sudden spark of interest that had to be stopped at that point, I was in a relationship and so was he. I was struck totally by his looks and his wonderful long hair, the type of hair that every women would kill to have. I saw him on occasions after that, but apart from a polite hello I don’t remember saying much else to him for months. The ‘Solid Rock’ was like a lot of pubs loads of regulars who had split into the area’s they always sat in, I belong to the group at the back of the bar, Adam to the group by the front door. He told me later that he used to watch me most evenings coming into the bar and either playing pinball or sitting talking to any of the people I knew before heading home. I don’t really remember seeing him that often, but to be honest I walked around with blinkers on a lot of the time in those days. Adam had apparently spoke about me with his friend Michael on several occasions, Michael told him several times to forget it as he didn’t stand a chance, but he didn’t.

The months passed I split from my then boyfriend and slowly re-entered the dating game. I had always been happy to go to bars and clubs by myself and on one of those Saturday nights I was about to leave ‘The Cat House’ when Adam and Michael arrived, Adam bought me a drink and convinced me to stay. The evening passed and we got on well and to my surprise and Adam’s I kissed him. I’m not sure to tell the truth who was the most surprised. When the club closed I tried to say good-bye but he wouldn’t listen and insisted on walking me home, it was the longest 10 minute walk of my life. We kept stopping and talking I kept telling him to let me go home and I promised to see him the next day. I don’t know at what point on that walk but during it I found out he was only 20, 17 years younger than me. It just wasn’t going to happen he was too young. Since my divorce I had seemed to be attracted to and attract younger men and when I say younger I mean between 3 to 10 years younger, not 17. This was the hurdle from hell and I wasn’t jumping over it. Eventually we reached the main door of my flat and with the promise that I would meet him in ‘Solid Rock’ the next day he at last left.

During that day I tried hard to talk myself into being strong and saying sorry goodbye, but the opposite was happening and I was talking myself into the position of why not, which clearly was what happened, we spent as much time as we could with each other that summer and without asking he seemed to be living with me. I got on well with his mother and sister and everything was really easy and felt just right, the age difference vanished and in August we went to Arran for a camping holiday. Everything between us seemed perfect and there was a strange feeling neither of us talked about until much later that holiday in Arran had the feel of a Honeymoon. Back home in in Glasgow and back in the Solid Rock we got engaged, everything was going so fast but felt so right. When it came to fixing the wedding date there was one date that seemed perfect April 24th 1999, it was his 21st birthday. Our wedding day was wonderful and for our honeymoon was in the only place it could be Arran.


The picture quality isn’t that good but yes we were both dressed in black. Nothing else was average and neither was our wedding.

Today is a celebration of both events and really is for me something that makes it somehow more important. If I had had the chance to sit down and draw up a list and a picture of the perfect man to spend my life I wouldn’t have drawn Adam, but only because he has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. He is no more perfect than I am but that very first spark that I felt that first meeting is still there. Together we haven’t had the life I thought we would and that is all because of something neither of us saw or expected. Adam has been more than a husband and more than a companion, he is my best friend, my strength and my daily reason to get up. I never thought that we would grow so much together, be happy to support each other through anything that comes our way. The future we already know is going to be governed by my health and I don’t think I could face it without him by my side.