spontaneously waiting

This is the second blog I have written today. The first I deleted as I just wasn’t happy with it. I do that occasionally and thanks to my wonderful memory it doesn’t bother me that I have destroyed my words, I know what the subject was but I can’t remember one sentence of it. Sometimes it is actually a blessing. lol

I’m waiting for Teressa to call me on Skype as she has another interview for a job in London this morning. I really hope that if it is the job that is right for her that she gets it. It’s strange to thing that she has spent the majority of her life abroad. London is still a long way for here but at least she would be in this country and I might get to see her more than just once every 3 years. Fingers crossed, I’d like her home.

The last time she stayed in Scotland for any length of time was when she returned here for our wedding. Teressa came home for six months, it was wonderful having her here and just being able to do mother, daughter things. I was actually the one who first said that I thought she should return to New Zealand. She was in her early twenties and even then there were no decent jobs for someone her age. Costs of renting a flat and so on meant that she really couldn’t survive here. At one point she had 2 part time jobs, rent free accommodation and still nothing to really live on. In New Zealand she had manged to have a much higher standard of living and jobs were easy to get. Seeing her off knowing it would be a long time until I would see her again was really hard. So now I wait.

It is strange how much of our lives we spend waiting, hoping that something is going to happen. We start waiting from the time we are toddlers on. Waiting until we can go to school. Waiting for holidays. Waiting for Christmas. Waiting for when we can leave school. Waiting for the day we can leave home, have a drink, get married, have children, waiting for them to go to school, for them to leave home, for them to marry, for them to have children, for retirement and eventually to die. It seems that it is impossible to not be waiting for something. In fact I think it is impossible, think about it for a 10 seconds no longer and I bet you have a list. What happened to the imagined life of fun and spontaneity that I thought was waiting for me from the day I left school. The only thing that seems to have happened spontaneously since then, is the number of things I an waiting for!