Bucking the trend

Sometimes we sit and dream about nothing. Yes we do. Think about it. How many times a day do sit looking for the next word that is needed in that email you are righting, then finding that you aren’t actually even thinking about that, your just starring into space or you screen, as blank as the space you are meant to be filling? Now ask yourself again. I bet you have just found an answer you didn’t expect, don’t worry we all do it.

I asked you to think about this for a reason, can you imagine doing that 100, 500 times a day. Not being able to find words in mid sentence, not just when you are writing but speaking. Then add in a new problem, you start to stutter every 9th or 10th word and while you are trying to get that word out, you forget what the word your stuttering over is. Starting to build a picture, getting a little frustrated? Yep that’s the next issue to add, frustration because that is the cherry on top, you slowly want to explode. Oh I nearly forgot, also add in that when you are typing, you start to forget how to spell things as well. Welcome to my world. That is what I go through all the time, sorry that is an exaggeration, not all the time just most of it.

I expect that you are now wondering how and why I put myself through writing every day. Although recently have seen research that says the opposite, I really do believe that if you don’t use it you loose it. I have seen too many people who sit down and give up, to me not surprisingly they slowly turn into the vegetable they expected to be. I daily push myself to write, remember, speak and anything else that I have problems with so I can hold on to the basic ability.

When I first got the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, I did sit down and cry for a few days but mainly because I didn’t understand what it was and I thought that all autoimmune conditions were like Motor Neurone disease, I was dieing and there was nothing that could be done. Once I had slapped myself around the face and used the logic I was born with, I found out what Fibromyaligia was and what impact it would have on my life. Like most things once you know what something is, it isn’t as bad as you imagined, happy that I wasn’t going to die tomorrow, I started pulling myself together and MS diagnosis arrived. It seemed I had learned nothing as I went through the same thing again. When I started to really loose functions, I decided to fight back.

Nothing is going to get the better of me without my first trying to get the better of it. Research or not I really believe that making yourself hold on to all your abilities is the only way to maintain them. Part of my last job was that of an analyst and I know better than many that you can make figures say what ever you want, so one research document saying that it makes no difference long term, to me means nothing. I have seen with my own eyes and heard of people who are still working into their nineties and beyond, who are totally fit and active and I believe they are as with it as they are, because they didn’t retire and they didn’t give up. Well watch this space as this is one lady who is out to buck the figures and still be in control for a long time to come regardless of what MS or Fibro is doing to me, I fight it.