This morning I discovered that my daughter like millions of others including myself is facing redundancy. I feel so powerless to help her in any way, with her living in San Fransisco it is hard to know what I can do. I am not at all aware of the laws in America but I do know they are very different to ours so I don’t even know if they have to make redundancy payment or if it is just a sorry goodbye. The company are moving there operations to London and as she has a UK passport there is a chance that she may be offered a job over here, but she won’t know until tomorrow what, if any that job may be.

It seems so cruel that the wonderful person who set out to try and help her Mum get a job, by in her own time setting up webpages and accounts through which she tried to start a campaign, should now be facing the same situation. I know she has a life in America and a guy she in now living with, that to smash it all apart and to have to start again just isn’t fair. It was only a few days ago that I wrote about our lives shadowing each others in strange ways, then another shadow appears. It is when things like this happen that as a parent I feel totally lost, I can’t financially support her and I know she wouldn’t ask me to but I want to somehow make this better, well that is my role, isn’t it. Like everything else in life i know this will sort itself out, it just takes time not magic wands, we will know more in a few days so another waiting game begins.

The sunshine seems to have brought a string of surprises, I received another email yesterday that stopped me dead. At first I thought that I was being conned but I decided to check a little further. From nowhere I was reading an email from someone I never thought I would hear from or see again. A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about a very special friend who had vanished from my life without reason or notice, she just vanished one day. At that time I was running a duplicate blog on an other site as I was testing to see which one I was happiest with, clearly this is the site I chose and I had made one last post on the other to redirect anyone who wanted to keep reading to this site. Technically that means the post are all still there, in fact the post on Friendship was the last but one on that site. Like many people I have multiple email addresses and my details for that site connected to it’s own address so when the email arrived I knew where the sender was contacting me from.

I really didn’t think that it was Tracey I thought it was someone just playing a cruel joke, there was nothing in it other than a line saying how touched she was by my post about ‘our friendship’. I so nearly dismissed and deleted it, but as I hovered over the delete button I decided to email back asking them for some detail that only she and I would know. This morning there was a reply. It wasn’t a joke it is Tracey. With a thousand questions in my mind I answered again. There is so little info that has passed between us but I have always been a nosy person and having spent so many years in a job that involved digging in data I pieced together enough info to start digging. If you are reading this Tracey I have found your Facebook page and I see you have a new husband who wears glasses and you live in London, and I can’t wait to find out more about your life in the past years. All I can do for now is settle into another wait, I’ve waited 10 years, so a few hours more I can manage.

It is only 11am but I must have check my email a dozen times already hoping the either Tracey or Teressa have answer the emails I sent this morning and I guess until I do hear I will continue to check every few minutes, it is going to be a long day. I can already feel the pain in my legs getting worse, as it isn’t only stress that affects MS, almost any heightened emotion will aggravate it into action, I just have to make sure I get some down time later as sitting here clicking the ‘check mail’ button doesn’t achieve anything.