Traveling with the flow

I don’t know how others write but I don’t always pick the subject I allow it to pick itself. I sit here and I type, delete and type again the first sentence. Once I am happy with that, I let my mind flow in the direction it chooses and the subjects that appear. Someone the other day told me that me writing was well structured, which made me laugh. In general the structure is probably the last thing I think about. These are the post which also seem to attract the most comment and the most attention. It is a natural thing for me to just go with the flow, I have always done it but not always with good results.

As a teenager I was led with ease into doing things that I would never thought of without a suggestion from my friends. I was the one in the group who always did what the others were too scared to do themselves, just in case they were caught. I stole the sweets and crisps from the corner shop, the alcohol from my parent drink cupboard. It was me that climbed on to roofs and into neighbors gardens to fetch the ball. It was me who bought the first LSD for the group, the first drink in a bar when not quite 13, and that list goes on and on. I remember my parent asking that never ending question of “why?”, to which I never had an answer they would accept. They clearly had no understanding of the world that I was growing up in or how it had changed over the 30 odd years gap since their childhood. 13 or 14 year old teenaged girls in the 70’s didn’t sit at home reading books, but neither did we do what they feared. Although I always had to be in before dark, there wasn’t anything in their minds, which couldn’t be found in the light. They never found a needle mark on my arm because I never touched that level of drugs. I never got pregnant because I had a brain and I was on the pill plus used condoms as well. I didn’t turn up dead, as I never went anywhere by myself and I didn’t walk blindly into anything.

As a parent I now fully understand their concerns but they were wrong, just as my best friends mother who would handed us joints when picking us up from school, was wrong. I will equally guarantee that my children will also think I was wrong. Being a parent I think, is the only time in life where you can’t just go with the flow, you can’t just let things happen, there is a structure you have to accept, a role you have to fulfill, the requirements state that you have to being wrong.