I wrote and added a piece last night and I had to delete it this morning. To those of you who tried to read it I apologise, I have no idea what I was thinking, it clearly made no sense at all! I had been having pains in my lungs, sharp little lightning bolts, not over painful but enough to get my attention and I had started to worry. About 8 or 9 years ago I found myself in hospital for 2 nearly 3 weeks. My breathing had gone a little mad, I seemed to either be able to breath or to talk or eat. The co-ordination between them had gone and all required a conscious effort, to do anything other than breath. Ask my to speak and I would forget to breath, feed me and the same happened. At night I had an oxygen mask to hand and sometimes woke gasping for air, I had probably done nothing worse than try to swallow. It would be fare to say that it was the most scared I have ever been by what my body was doing to me. Finding that the basic things of life had forgotten how to work together was simply nuts. I had several very high intravenous steroids drips attached to me over 4 or 5 nights and slowly it all came back to normal. My then boss had visited me in hospital and she told me later, she at that point had thought that I would never be at work again. I still have odd occasions where I seem to forget again and I just have to stop, concentrate, then move on again.

I am glad to say that my breathing is fine this morning and at this second I actually do feel a bit better. A combination of my meds and exhaustion knocked me out last night, the sleep I got helped a lot. There is less pain in most of my body other than my left leg and lower spine. If anything I would say my leg is worse, almost as the surrounding pain has shifted into a more focused attack. The middle of my face, a triangular shape from the bridge of my nose to the sides of my mouth, is numb but tingling at the same time, a little like the numbness left after going to the dentist. Having part of my face missing isn’t new but it is usually a short lived sensation, this appeared last night when I went to bed and so far hasn’t gone again. Just as when an anesthetic is wearing off drinking is an interesting challenge.

The real test is as the day goes on, it doesn’t matter what ever is wrong with you, even just a cold, it is always worse as the day goes on.