I actually had a visitor today a real human being walked through my front door. She didn’t bring any gift, even though she is the first person to visit here in 2012, she brought 2 hours of questions and checks. I gave in trying and hoping that the increased pain levels I have had for the last few weeks would go away or lessen, so last week I made the phone call and brought in not the ‘A Team’ but the ‘Rehab Team’. The used to call them the ‘District Support Team’, for what ever reason they thought a change of name was needed, can’t help thinking that it meant to make them seem more modern, as it seems to be only the name that has changed, the lists of questions clearly hadn’t.

2 hours of questions, which if they actually had joined up system, most of the questions she asked, they already have the answers to. She went round the flat checking that everything was suitable and then discussed what I had called her here for. So now I wait again while she goes back and discusses the sheet of answers with the rest of the team. I really don’t want to increase the morphine yet, I have a fog filled brain anyway without an increased artificial one on top. What I really want is a top up drug so that when there is breakthrough pain I can hit it back rather than be doped all the time.

For now though I just have to deal with it, I have to say her suggestion of a slightly larger Gin in the evening until we get on top of it, sounds OK with me. I know that having my meds totally checked and assessed is long over due. I have managed them for long enough and although I hate to say it, I need their help. For now though I am heading for my bed, the whole thing has left me exhausted:)