Number 42

Adam and I spent part of the weekend sorting through old photos that I don’t think I have looked at in the past 10 years. At some point in the past I had collected them together and formed montage boards with them. We carefully relieved them from the sellotape and spray mount that held them behind their glass panels, then Adam took them to his sisters to scan them for me. I have never had a printer or scanner, simply because there is a fact that many of us miss, why do we keep printing things that can be seen on screen without wasting ink, paper, power and money. Apart from a very resent need for a scanner, my opinion on that hasn’t changed.

I sat this morning going through the results and cropping where needed. I know that my mother has no pictures of me as a child, so I can only assume that this means that the few I found are all there is left now. Is it my age or theirs that has caused my past to now be turning sepia?

Just a few months old

I could only be a few months old in this picture and I know nothing about it at all. I can only guess that as I did when my daughter was born that my parents took picture to send to everyone. The invention of photography really changed the way we mark events in our lives.

 A couple of years on

Yet chubby toddlers go on forever. Well these days they seem to go on forever, I remember it being called puppy fat, luckily for me it was but I remember always feeling on the large size, something that could have been caused more because I was 5ft 8ins by the age of 11 and all my school friends were smaller than me.

Aged 11 and stroppy aleady

We had assembly every morning before lessons began. The whole school would be there, from what they now call primary 1 through to six form. On several occasions I was told off by the headmistress for talking or eating a sweet. I always felt very picked on, I knew I wasn’t the only one but I was always the one that was caught, then came the day of enlightenment, I noticed something that had escaped me until then. Everyone in front of me were smaller, just as they should have been, they were all younger than me, I already knew I was the tallest in my class, but for some reason that day I looked behind me. They were also all smaller than me, including most of the sixth form!

That day was quickly followed with another fact that had escaped my childish mind, I was taller than most of my teachers as well and if I just stood-up properly and didn’t slouch it turned the table of power. I could walk away, not only with my head held high, but without being told off for what ever petty school rule I had infringed. I found my height and rapidly over the next few months grew into it, racing from child to adult with no breathing space for understanding.

For many years I thought that I had missed out on something, that there had been an important step in life, that if I could only go back to I would be able to make more sense of life. I missed nothing, we all get there, we all do it differently and we all keep looking for the answer to questions that really don’t matter.